Craigslist Poetry: Pirate Fairies and Churchgoers

On the Missed Connections board, we sing the body eclectic

The following are actual entries from the Missed Connections section of Charleston Craigslist, divided into lines and stanzas and presented without embellishment. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Pirate Fairy at Michael’s on Rivers Ave – m4w (North Charleston)

We met at Michael’s Crafts
and you were wearing a silly pirate hat
and carrying a wand.
I asked if you worked there
and you said no.

You are so sweet – m4w – 43 (Charleston Sc )

Some time i come there for multivitamin and in morning time Coffey ,
missed to talk you
you are so cute pretty
well …………………………………
you know like you and ,,,,,
contact me
citadel mall at citadel mall

Staples by Whole Foods in Mt. Pleasant – m4w – 27 (Mt. P)

Today around lunch time.
We met looking for the perfect blue pen.
You said you were picky about yours.

You helped me look for one other thing,
tell me what it is so I know it’s you.
Lets grab lunch. A drink and talk more.

I want everything – w4m – 25 (Charleston)

Divorce your wife.
Be with me.
Neither of us are perfect,
but I’ll make you a happy man again.

I adore you. You may love her too,
but face it, you don’t love her enough.

SeaCoast Church – m4w (mt pleasant)

Saw you at church with your daughter
and I’m sure you know I was looking at you.
Wanted to get your name
but lost you in the crowd.

To the couple that bought us a shot a Madra Rua last night in s’ville – mw4mw

You sent over a couple shots
and had the bartender ask us a question.
It seems that you left before
he was able to get the answer back to you.
At any rate…
The answer is “yes”.

regret – m4w

You were the weak one, not me.
Enjoy your pills, being a whore
and your pathetic man you when back to.
I have moved on, I am too shallow to be hurt by you.

Christmas Party – m4m – 29 (dtwn at sc aquarium)

Saw a lot of good looking guys at the aquarium tonight,
so can’t single out anyone. Would be interested
in meeting up with someone and getting to know them.

I’m a tall dark skinned guy, one- hundred and
eighty two lbs, standing at six feet, three inches.

and very attractive.

Want you to be my friend again

Want to be a friend to the one woman I have met
that could fill the void of my deceased wife.

You, to me, are the epitome of the perfect Christian woman
with few if any faults but ‘fell out’ with me for reason(s) I am yet to know.
I am not a Mr. McCracken but I do have a lot to offer now
and even more to offer upon my death.

Please practice what you preach on Twitter
and lets let bygones be bygone and be friends again.
You know I helped you out a lot, with no strings attached,
for a few years and would like to do it again.

American Alpha Male – m4w (Charlestonish, SC)

have an extra ticket to the Eric Church concert Dec 13…

TO: The girl that works Family Dollar – m4w – 19 (North Charleston)

I doubt it
if ur going to see this
but you kind of looked
like u were following me.

And by the way
the girl I was with
was my sister.

forever does last – w4m (unfortunately)

I wish I knew how
to stop loving you

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