Craigslist Poetry: Gettin’ Cheeky


Irresistible pickup lines that arrived a little too late

The cleverest pickup lines come to mind long after they are useful. You are lying in bed after a night out on the town when the muse finally visits with an irresistible quip or compliment that is just too good not to use. So you stumble over to your computer, get on Craigslist, and put it out there for all the world to see.

The following are real entries from the Missed Connections section of Charleston Craigslist, broken into lines and stanzas and minimally edited for clarity:

blond chick in cube – m4w – 23 (logan st)

yo girl

see you drivin that white whip around town.

Blonde hair flowin like swag.

Id love to ghost ride with you sometime

babygirl.

hmu

Ashley Plaza CVS – m4m – 48 (West Ashley)

A regular cus-

-tomer who thinks you are hot

with that 3 day beard.

Jack Johnson – w4m – 29 (Isle of Palms, SC)

I met you at a house party on the island.

You were wearing tan Reef shoes

with bottle opener soles.

Your guitar playing reminds me

of Jack Johnson

and I would really like to Jack

your Johnson.

When God made you it was well done

just how you like your burger.

I saw you looking at me

looking at you. If you like me too,

write some lyrics about our encounter.

Until then, my left breast will swell

’cause I’m sure you have enlarged my heart.

Dunkin Donut in GC – m4w – 32 (GC)

Saw you at the DD in the Creek.

You were looking fine

in your purple scrubs

and sexy blue eyes.

I wish i was that donut

you were eating.

I thought i saw you look at me …

kaminskys guy – m4m – 22 (dwntwn charleston)

You were the slightly drunk really tall guy

who kept pinching my nipples last night,

you had a very sexy australian accent

and you told me your name.

I’m in the airforce.

what was my name and

what did I do to you?

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