THE USUAL SUSPECTS ‌ Speaking Truth to Power 

This goes out to all you ho's out there

You've got to admire Sen. Barack Obama for tellin' it like it is, takin' it to the man, keepin' it real, and other principled activities that involve dropping one's "g's."

  When Don Imus first got into trouble for his idiotic "nappy-headed ho's" comment, Sen. Obama said nothing. However, once it became clear Imus was toast, Sen. Obama hopped on the Manufactured Outrage Express. Imus must be fired!

Sen. Obama explained his change of heart by saying that Imus' insults "fed into some of the worst stereotypes that my two young daughters are having to deal with." The senator then ran off to another high-level campaign meeting with Ludacris.

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Barack didn't have another meeting with Ludacris. Just the one.

Sen. Obama and the rap star met late last year to talk about how they could work together "empowering the youth." I have no idea what they said in their personal, private meeting, but I do have a few public comments from Ludacris going out to all you empowered young folks out there:

"Youza hoooooo (Ho) Youza hoooooo (Ho) / Can't turn a ho into a housewife / Ho's don't act right / There's ho's on a mission, an' ho's on a crackpipe / Hey ho how ya doin, where ya been? / Prolly doin' ho stuff cuz there you ho again."

Ludacris then promptly joined Sen. Obama in calling for Don Imus to be drawn and quartered.

If, unlike Sen. Obama, you're unimpressed by Ludacris and his way with words, you might be interested to know that some of Mr. Cris's (Luda's?) finest work is produced by legendary hip-hop maestro Timbaland. Timbaland — an (ahem) artist in his own right — has brought the world such outstanding lyrics as:

"I'm a ride or die nigga, I be tearin s*** up / We ain't like them other fools, who don't compare to us / All the ho's love a nigga, they be backing it up"

It's like Shakespeare, only faster...

Why do I bring up the subject of Mr. Timbaland? Because when he's not being loved by his "ho's," he's a max contributor to the presidential campaign of ... Hillary Rodham Clinton. In fact, just weeks ago he hosted an $80,000 fund-raiser for the former First Lady, or (in deference to Mr. Timbaland) "Number One White House Bi-atch."

Oh, and did I mention that Sen. Rodham has called for Don Imus to be tortured, maimed, and fed to alligators?

Not that there's a double standard here, no, no, no. As Chrysler Motors spokesman (spokes-brutha?) and rap superstar Snoop Dogg states the case:

"It's a completely different scenario. [Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We're talking about ho's that's in the 'hood that ain't doing sh--, that's trying to get a n---a for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain't no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC [the former cable network home to Imus' show] going hard on black girls. We are rappers who have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them mutha-----as say we in the same league as him."

Snoop Dogg would like to run down Don Imus with his Escalade and then "pop a cap in the m-----f-----'s ass."

Sen. Obama is a proud supporter of Ludacris and his youth outreach efforts. Sen. Clinton happily pockets thousands from Timbaland's fundraisers. And Don Imus is unemployed. That's called "No Justice, No Problem."

Thank the good Lord we have gotten rid of that foul-mouthed bigot Don Imus and made the airwaves safe for Snoop, Timbaland and Ludacris. The Republic is, at last, secure.


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