THE CHASE IS ON ‌ Take Me, Please 

Plight of the funny girl

If you were to ask any of my friends to describe me in one word, most of them would say, "funny." Not gorgeous, charming, or brilliant, just "funny." While part of me would love to go off on them in a Joe Pesci-with-a-baseball-bat style freak-out, I've come to terms with the fact I'll always be the cute, funny girl.

One of my male comedian friends spelled it out for me one evening over drinks. "Most guys are intimidated by funny girls," he said. "No guy wants to go out with a girl who gets more laughs than him in public."

"Well, that explains a lot," I replied, "since we've never dated and all."


As much as I'd like to completely dispel his theory, I can't necessarily disagree with it on a personal level. I've never overheard a guy at A.C.'s say, "Man, she's hilarious. You think she's single?"

Growing up, I sported too many freckles, a bad perm, and clear braces that turned the color of whatever food I was enjoying at the time (note: stay away from Cheetos). I looked like Chelsea Clinton during her awkward years on the very first day of her period. I was definitely a target for ridicule among my asshole peers, and because of that, I developed a scathing sense of humor at an early age. I memorized an arsenal of comebacks, as well as a list of jokes about myself so I could beat my bullies to the punch. Luckily, I've grown out the frizzy perm, finally had those useless braces removed, and learned the value of sunscreen (just like my homegirl Chelsea), but my defensive comedic streak still remains. I can't complain — it's a great personality filter in social situations and I live to make my friends laugh. But when it comes to dating, it's clearly a hindrance.

My insecurity flares up my defensive humor in uncomfortable situations, like when a strange gentleman attempts to flirt with me. I just never know how to react. I feel like I'm in a National Geographic documentary chronicling the failed early mating stages of the human race. So I make self-degrading cracks, and basically find myself talking the guy out of any romantic interest. Defensive shields up, Captain, hilarity is about to be unleashed!

It's not that I don't like being the funny girl, but I often ask myself if I would be willing to trade my ballsiness and sense of humor for better looks and more confidence with the opposite sex. Eventually I come to my senses, and realize that I wouldn't, but some girls just make it look so damn easy. I can't help but be a little jealous and wonder what it would be like to wobble down King Street in their stilettos.

It seems like there's no such thing as a woman being considered both beautiful and funny. Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garofalo, Tina Fey — they're all humorous, cute women, but never described as "beautiful." Maybe that would just be too much for one man to take. But I'd proudly take my place within their "funny lady" company.


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