pluffmudsmellsgood 
Member since Dec 22, 2010


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Re: “Carolyn Evans shares a sexy method for saving marriages

I see the appeal here, but also a larger revelation of how couples communicate. If it takes a bead, or a device, or a game, to get couples to communicate their sexual needs in a non threatening way to one another, then it seems the issue is with the couple, and with our cultural attitudes regarding marital relationships, that needs a real conversion. Surely this method will work for the right people, but those people are ignoring the larger issues in themselves and in their relationship: mature adults with healthy communication patterns shouldn't need beads to say the things they can not say or ask for...men can learn to seek their partners to meet their needs, just as women can learn to ask for what they need. But as we've seen, this takes enormous cultural change and support. Maybe the bead method leads to this by way of verbal "beading" eventually, which would make it successful in training couples to learn healthy communication patterns. Right now, the problem seems to be that the learning never happened in the first place, and many couples enter middle age with the emotional skills and communication resources of a teenager.

Posted by pluffmudsmellsgood on May 12, 2011 at 11:47 AM
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