NEWS SHORTS 

"Where is she? Where is she?"

Wisconsin resident James Van Iveren, after bursting into his neighbor's apartment, calvary sword in hand. He had heard what he thought was a woman being raped. It turned out to be really, really loud porn. Van Iveren was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage, and disorderly conduct with a dangerous weapon. Source: The Associated Press


Who That Baby Daddy Be?

Local lawyer George Gatgounis writes his first rap song, inspired by the Anna Nicole Smith hearing:

Who that baby Daddy be?
They say it may one a' three!
Anna Nicole ain't know who it be ...
'Cause she ain't nothing but a "hoochie"!

That Doctor, Doctor, Doctor said ...
That baby Daddy knock a nod on my head!
... it hurt really bad!
It made my Mama really mad!

That blonde lawyer with a big mouth ...
A woman don't talk that way in the south!
But, she ain't no louse ...
That old grey lawyer talk like a mouse!

"Here come the Judge," they used to say ...
This Judge ain't nothing but a bubba jay!
He made me laugh all day!
When he cried like blue jay!

That Judge just don't know the law ...
He ain't nothing but a big fat jaw!
All he does is hem and haw!
He need to get whooped by his mother-in-law!

Who that baby Daddy be?
They say it may one a' three!
Anna Nicole ain't know who it be ...
'Cause she ain't nothing but a "hoochie"!


36 minutes

That's how much time workers spend each day on personal tasks, adding up to about three hours a week. Source: Office Team


 

"Could you double-check the envelope?"

Martin Scorsese, after winning the Acadamey Award for Best Director near the end of a very long awards ceremony. Scorsese's film, The Departed, won the best film honors.


$4 million

That's the amount approved by the S.C. House Ways and Means Committee to supplement lagging funding from Washington for programs and medicines for poor people with HIV or AIDS. State health officials said last week that $4 million would help, but likely wouldn't completely address the state's growing waiting list for HIV medicine. Source: The Post and Courier


2nd

click to enlarge legos.jpg

That's where a local LEGO team of 9- to 14-year-olds sponsored by Trident Technical College ranked in a recent statewide tournament. The Nano Ninjas competed against more than 100 other teams on tasks that included delivering molecules to power a molecular motor, operating a space elevator, testing stain-resistant fabric, and translating traditional Irish bar songs into Klingon. That last one's a joke.




$90

That's the average price for a one-way ticket last year on AirTran Airways. The company will begin offering flights between Charleston and Atlanta in May. Source: Post and Courier


"You can't win if you don't run."

U.S. House Majority Whip Jim Clyburn (D-S.C.), after being asked whether a woman could be president. The District 6 representative was honored during an event in Charleston last week that included a special appearance by Hillary Clinton.


18 months

That's how long state lawmakers say it would take to make the entire state WiFi ready, if approved by the legislature. If you believe that, we've got some WiFi in Charleston to sell ya.


Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Classified Listings
  • Lidl
    I have already shopped in Lidl store goose creek sc. three times. I find the… -tim wernicke
  • Black Bean Co.
    I am typically not one to complain or write a bad review but I felt… -Morgan P.

Powered by Foundation   © Copyright 2017, Charleston City Paper   RSS