Highlights from City of Charleston police reports

Blotter O' The Week:

A man was arrested for being drunk in public after he disrupted a touch football game in Marion Square by grabbing the ball. We just assumed everyone playing touch football in Marion Square was drunk.

Drunk Confession O' The Week: "Man, you know I'm screwed."

iPods stolen this week: six

A homeowner reported that someone broke into her home and stole a case of Bud Light and a few Budweiser Select beers. Some poker chips had been moved and two frozen dinners were left on the kitchen counter. For those who may be confused, this is not what they mean by a staycation.

Threat O' The Week: "You'll be coming back later tonight when they come here, and you'll find a dead man."

A man had two fishing poles stolen from his front yard. In an unrelated incident, a woman said that someone broke into her car and stole a Captain Morgan fishing cooler, which we're assuming is not meant to cool fish.

Green Crime O' the Week: An unknown person threw a bicycle at a car, smashing the rear window.

Bikes stolen this week: two

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.


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