Highlights from City of Charleston police reports

Blotter O' The Week:

Two 40-year-old men at a car dealership got into an argument when one of them accidentally let go of a balloon. The other man chided him over what that would do to the ecosystem. The one who lost the balloon ended up approaching the complainer, causing the man to pull out his pocketknife in defense.

Thieves stole a refrigerator last week, but only made it two blocks before abandoning the fridge in a woman's front yard. Talk about frozen assets.

West Ashley High School had five arrests in one day, either for assault or disturbing school, plus an additional report of suspicious activity. The real victim? A lunchroom hamburger thrown during one of the fights. Come on, man. There are starving kids in Third World countries who ... wouldn't eat that food.

A woman called police after receiving phone calls from four separate in-laws, each telling her they would "whip" her ass. Breaking News: All four will be played by Tyler Perry in the movie adaptation.

Officers responding to a call about a car break-in spotted a man carrying a purse (black suede with hearts on it) and asked if the purse was his. "It's not a purse," he told them. "It's a bag." Despite his valiant effort at metrosexuality, the man was arrested for breaking and entering.

Bikes stolen this week: nine

iPods stolen: nine

Text Threat O' The week: "i always around. u is a dead bitch and u don't know it."

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.


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