Highlights from City of Charleston police reports

Blotter O' The Week:

An unknown man broke into a local park only to steal 300 hot dog buns and 150 burger patties.

Threat O' The Week: "I will beat you with nothing but my hands."

A young, curly haired man has been sighted entering vacant rooms at a local motel and ordering adult movies, now totaling over $200. No estimate was given for cleaning the sheets and/or bath towels, but we hope that was a priority.

When a woman was arrested for assault at a bar, she began to make crazed statements, saying "Heil Hitler! Heil Hitler," and "This is America and you are all fucking assholes." When the woman was reminded why she was arrested, she responded, "I do not remember anything of that sort and fuck you."

After drunkenly leaving a Charleston bar at closing time, a man decided to sleep it off in the parking lot. When a police officer woke him up the next morning, he found he'd left his doors unlocked and someone had stolen $4,000 worth of stereo equipment. There's a complicated insurance claim we'd rather not explain to Geico.

Worst Excuse O' The week: "Is a $20 bag of blow really that big of a deal?"

When told he wouldn't be allowed into James Island County Park on July 4th because it was full, a man hit the park attendant with his car.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.


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