Blotter O' The Week:

A man was caught stuffing $67 worth of frozen raw shrimp down his pants. Insert your own sexually inadequate joke here.

When police responded to an argument between two suspected drug dealers one of the men said to the other, "I will kill you! How would you like three holes in you?" It's best to get these kinds of threats out before the two of you go to prison and all you have to threaten him with is a sharpened toothbrush handle.

Stolen Item O' The Week: A Winnie-the-Pooh cell phone

After a James Island woman broke up with her boyfriend, he left her a message saying, "Pick up the phone you hateful bitch! I didn't love you. ... I never loved you. It's all about you." We don't know what could make her think it was all about her. Maybe it was the 36 other calls that he'd made to her within an hour.

Weapon O' The Week: A full cup of saliva

Police investigating a suspected drug sale told a man riding a bicycle to stop. "Man, I don't have time for that," he replied. No reason to be offended officers — that's exactly what he says when his mother calls to talk, when his girlfriend wants to snuggle, and when it's his turn to make coffee at the office.

Quote O' The Week: "Hey, I was just about to smoke that."

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.


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