Blotter 

Highlights from City of Charleston police reports

BLOTTER O' the Week:

Two unruly juveniles have been terrorizing a local golf course, ruining greens and crashing stolen carts into fences. Most recently, they rode their bikes on the course. Last week, a group of annoyed golfers told them to leave and surprisingly they did, only to return with eggs. The golfers have balls and clubs — why haven't these kids been taken care of already?

At a downtown intersection last Friday night, two guys were seen fighting and wrestling in the street. By the time officers arrived, spectators had begun fighting too. Come on guys, the fifth rule of Fight Club is one fight at a time.

Number of bite victims this week:

three

Monday afternoon, a woman began the wrong conversation with her mother-in-law by divulging details about her relationships prior to marrying her son. The conversation ended with mom punching her daughter-in-law three times in the face. Where's Jerry Springer's security guard when you need him?

Weapon O' the Week:

A shovel

Police arrived downtown on the scene of a one-car accident last Saturday night to find a truck turned onto the driver's side, an uprooted palm tree, and the driver sitting on the sidewalk. The man was unharmed and obviously intoxicated. Field sobriety tests ensued, the first test being to recite the ABC's. The man got to letter C, paused, then turned around and put his hands behind his back in the handcuff position, because, you know, he's a man who knows his limits.

Police Report's Misspelled Word O' the Week: "Interupid"

(aka: interrupted)

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.


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