The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

The manager of a downtown grocery store noticed a suspicious woman heading toward the back of the store on Feb. 4. The woman entered the bathroom carrying packages of luncheon meat and cheese slices. She emerged from the bathroom stuffing the individually-wrapped slices of cheese in the front of her hooded sweatshirt. Apparently, the woman's bologna has a first name, it's L-A-R-C-E-N-Y.

An 18-year-old Ashley Oaks woman woke on Feb. 5 to find her Kia Spectra had been egged and keyed. The words "fuck you," "bitch," and "fuck," were scratched into the paint, and broken eggs were found on the roof. All this just goes to show you, if you want make a fuck-you-bitch omelette, you gotta break some eggs.

On Feb. 2, a man followed his ex to her downtown apartment, saying, "I've got something for you, bitch." The woman also received 12 threatening phone calls from him, including one that said, "You're mine. I'm not going to let you go." Every day must be Valentine's Day for these two.

An employee at a N. Charleston store known for its markdowns noticed a woman removing four bottles of perfume from their boxes and placing them in her purse on Feb. 3. The bottles included Davidoff, Elizabeth Arden, True Love, and Curve. Apparently, you don't have to be a Parisian hooker to get arrested in North Chuck, just smell like one.

Right after the bars closed on Feb 4, three men started fighting on King Street. One of the men, a local college basketball player, said he started the fight because someone "Looked at him funny." Cops — 1, Cougs — 0.


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