Blotter: Would not, could not, in a jail 

Out of Africa, into jail

Blotter of the Week: When police asked a drunk man where he lived, he replied, "Blue house. Brown house." The dude's roommate must be Dr. Seuss.

Scam o' the Week: A man got a call from a stranger who told him that he had won $450,000 in the lottery and that, in order to collect his winnings, the man would have to buy $300 worth of lottery tickets and hand them over to the stranger. Sounds plausible.

A man was sitting in his car with the window rolled down when a stranger ran past and threw 15 grams of marijuana into the vehicle. The stranger was on the run from police after trespassing at a public housing complex.

A man tried to shoplift over $1,000 worth of jeans from a department store in a plastic bag. It probably made for a riveting story back at the police station.

Shoplifting Haul o' the Week: A shoe insert, a bottle of calcium pills, and a bottle of krill oil pills.

After breaking the terms of his lease, a tenant demanded his $450 security deposit back. The landlord said no, and one day a stranger showed up at the landlord's door holding a gun and a note that read, "Cocksucker I told you I had nothing better to do today! $450.00 due yesterday."

Suspect Description o' the Week: The suspect in a hit and run was described to police as a "white male (with a small beard)."

Police responded to a call about a man who had passed out in a library bathroom at 3 in the afternoon. When they woke the man up, he said that he had been drinking.

Stolen From Vehicles This Week: A briefcase, a work binder, some business and personal paperwork, $60 cash, a pair of sunglasses, a wallet, two purses, a credit card, four debit cards, two driver's licenses, an MP3 player, eyeliner, perfume, a phone charger, a light bulb, and a bowling license.

Police stopped a drunk man who ran across East Bay Street, and the man said, "I need a ride home, I am drunk." When the cop asked the man where he thought he was, he first replied, "North Carolina," but then he revised his answer to "Mt. Pleasant." Getting warmer ...

After getting pulled over for swerving in traffic, a man told police, "I was going to a friend's house to sober up before I drove home." When the officer asked the man if he was drunk, he replied, "I am not sober," and then said, "Buzzed, yeah, I guess." His blood alcohol content was nearly twice the legal limit.

Two juveniles were arrested on a charge of shooting other children with a pellet gun on a playground.

Cocaine Hiding Place o' the Week: Inside a shoe in a bedroom.

When the management of a bar asked a disorderly man to leave the establishment, he unzipped his pants while walking down the interior stairs and peed all the way down.

A downtown resident told police that a stranger was sleeping on his porch swing. When police woke the front-porch snoozer, he said he was staying at this house with a friend.

Jackass o' the Week: After a cop pulled a man over and discovered that he was driving with a suspended license, the man took a page from the Reese Witherspooon playbook and said, "Do you know who I am? I am a doctor, and I have received multiple awards." After he was arrested, the man said, "I have a trip to Africa scheduled, and people are going to suffer because you're taking me to jail."

Police woke up a taxi driver who was sleeping in his cab with a homemade crack pipe in his hand. Upon awakening, the cabbie said he was just taking a nap.


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