Blotter: Too much chicken on the grill 

Blotter-item-turned-steampunk-emo-band: Electrical Box Hostage Taker

Blotter o' the Week: A woman says she got in a fight with her daughter over how many pieces of chicken should be placed on the grill. The daughter allegedly hit her mother in the face and pulled out some of her hair weave, which could be seen strewn about the house when police arrived on the scene.

Video surveillance footage showed a man in a ski mask kick in a glass door at a closed convenience store and steal 33 cartons of cigarettes. At $60.20 a carton, that's nearly $2,000 worth of cancer sticks.

A woman got in a fight with a house guest and locked him out of her apartment, at which point the guest ripped the electrical box off of the outside wall, causing a power outage in the apartment. The man reportedly called the woman and said, "Once you let me back in, I will give you back your electrical box." That's one way to kill the spark of a relationship.

Police responded to a report of shots being fired in a neighborhood and found a man riding down the middle of the street on a tiny pink bicycle. The cops stopped the man, discovered he had a warrant out with the sheriff's office, and placed him under arrest.

A night security guard at an upscale hotel found a man and woman wrestling in the hallway outside the door to their room. He told the two of them to call it a night, and they got up off the floor and went into their room. A few minutes later, the neighbors were complaining because of a loud racket coming from the room, and when a cop came in to break it up, the woman made a suggestion to the cop involving the F-word and was arrested on a public disorderly conduct charge.

Somebody tried to use counterfeit money to pay court fines at a magistrate's office.

Late at night, a cop heard a man cussing on a street corner. As the officer approached the man, he shouted, "Suck my dick!" The man continued to make sexual remarks and was arrested on a charge of disorderly conduct.

A woman saw two huge dents in the roof of her vehicle, along with a footprint on the back windshield and two dents in the hood, and surmised that someone had walked all over her car and jumped up and down on it. Hood rats!

Somebody broke into a docked yacht and stole a $1,000 battery charger, a radio, a safe, two sets of gold earrings, and $3,000 in cash. Buoy, is he in trouble.

Jackass o' the Week: Somebody walked into a fire station and stole a fireman's coat and breathing mask that were hanging on a wall hook.

Pulled over for erratic driving, a man originally told police that he hadn't had anything to drink that evening. He later revised his story to say he had drunk two flutes of champagne. After failing a field sobriety test, he said he had actually drunk four glasses of wine and two flutes of champagne. Then he blew a .18 percent on a breathalyzer test.

Somebody threw a brick through a restaurant window, walked in, and stole $10 from an envelope, ignoring the tip jar full of money on the counter nearby.

D'oh! Moment o' the Week: A man with a suspended driver's license decided it would be a good idea to blast music in his vehicle while driving with two open cans of beer in the cup holders. He was pulled over for the music and arrested for driving under suspension and an open container charge.

A recently hired nurse at a rehabilitation center is accused of stealing painkillers from her patients. Other nurses noted that she was taking "an unusually long time to do regular procedures," according to an incident report.

Stolen From Homes This Week: A 12-piece silver utensil set inscribed with the letter H, a silver tea pitcher and water pitcher, a silver butter plate, a laptop computer, a smartphone, two digital cameras, an iPod, a camouflage duffle bag, a .357 revolver, two motion-sensor hunting cameras, a handheld hunting GPS unit, a jewelry box, three watches, a chain bracelet, two gold wedding bands, and some duck calls.

After drinking two gins and juice at a bar, a man tried to offer a hockey season schedule pamphlet as payment. Needless to say, the hip check didn't cash.


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