Blotter: The writing on the wall 

Painted Lady

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Steve Stegelin

Blotter o' the Week: Someone still feeling the effects of the most recent presidential election has repeatedly spray painted "Fuck Hillary" on a woman's home.

A father called police after he found his son's vehicle had been wrapped in plastic and toilet paper and doused in syrup. This manner of prank is also known as an "Awful Waffle."

Police responded to reports of a fight outside of a downtown bar late one evening. Officers told an intoxicated young man to call an Uber to escort him home. The man showed his phone to an officer to prove that he was securing a ride, but instead of the Uber app, the screen displayed the man's alarm settings.

One spring breaker had a bit too much to drink and fell asleep on a busy street. The man later told police that his friends had abandoned him downtown and he was headed back to Folly Beach when he decided to grab some rest near a busy on-ramp.

A woman wired $1,250 to a man posing as her son-in-law, but the hustle didn't stop there. The conman then convinced the woman to hide almost $10,000 in cash among the pages of several magazines and mail the money to New Jersey. The woman also sent along a check for $8,500, but authorities managed to track down the envelope before it reached the Garden State charlatan.

An intoxicated man attempted to enter what he believed to be his home late one evening. Questioned by a Charleston police officer, the man explained that they were in the city of Cheraw where he lives.

A restaurant employee was finishing his shift at work when he found a stranger with a bloody nose seated in his vehicle. Upon opening the car door, the intoxicated man fell out of the car onto the pavement.

Someone stole a turkey decoy out of a man's truck. Who or why someone would commit such a fowl act remains unknown, but chances are the thief's story won't fly with police.

A woman reported AWOL from the United States Air Force was tracked to a local hotel. A manager told police that he had attempted to enter the woman's room, but the woman forced him out as she foamed at the mouth.

A suspect set several pieces of paper on fire inside of a vehicle before keying what appeared to be the word "DICK" on the hood of the car.

An intoxicated man approached an officer on the street one evening to converse. When the man failed to arrange a safe ride home, he was taken into custody. During his ride to jail, the man broke into tears several times and said he was afraid that a group of guys he met earlier in the evening were going to attack him for dancing with one of their girlfriends.

A man found passed out in an elevator responded to officers' questions about how much he had to drink that night by saying, "Not enough." As with any elevator-related bender, the man's night had its ups and downs.

A man called police after he found that his roommate had pawned his diamond ring.

An intoxicated man urinated on the floor of a fast food restaurant, giving new meaning to the term "Golden Arches."

A woman who entered a store to ask for armadillos was later questioned by police after a concerned shopkeep contacted authorities. The woman told the officer that she didn't work or drive because of her "intellegence test, which was being conducted by the government using telepathy." The woman then handed the officer a jacket and stated that he would know what to do with it.

When asked how long he had been drinking, an intoxicated driver informed police, "For about three weeks." Maybe keep your binges to under a fortnight.

A woman looking for her can opener instead discovered a bag containing marijuana and a pipe that she believes her son and daughter-in-law left behind.


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