Blotter: Reduce, reuse, be kind, rewind 

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Steve Stegelin

Blotter o' the Week: A woman filled her reusable grocery bags with merchandise before attempting to leave a grocery store without paying. Before exiting the building, the woman was seen standing in front of the Redbox machine. When questioned by police, the woman claimed that she was thinking about renting Star Wars and forgot all about paying for any of the groceries that she had bagged. Her haul was estimated at approximately $350. Not sure what that works out to in Republic credits.

An officer came across a vehicle that was pulled over on the side of the road one evening. While checking on the driver, the officer noticed the man behind the wheel was disoriented and smelled of alcohol, according to an incident report. The driver claimed that he was traveling all the way from Arkansas to visit his brother in Charleston, but he could not recall a specific address or phone number where his brother might be reached. A quick check by the officer revealed that the man's vehicle had been reported stolen, and the driver was taken into custody.

Thanks to his green thumb and sticky fingers, a shoplifter made off with six potted plants and three large bags of mulch valued at almost $50.

An observant store employee confronted a shoplifter who was unable to explain how several pairs of sunglasses had made their way into her purse. After returning the merchandise, the shady suspect was asked to leave the store. Little did the staff know that the woman had also snatched a bracelet, which was concealed on her person.

When asked by officers to stop shouting obscenities on a crowded sidewalk, a man replied by saying, "I'm not fucking cussing," according to an incident report. The irony of the situation was lost on the man who continued to cause a ruckus.

An officer responded to a downtown bar where a rowdy individual had just been removed by a bouncer. After walking through the back door of the establishment, the officer learned that the troublemaker had not made it far since being tossed. He was found steadying himself against a wall while urinating.

A homeowner was looking to grab a cold one from the refrigerator in his garage when he discovered that approximately $100 of beer was missing. Police later found a few empties said to belong to the man at a nearby public pool, but the boozing bandits were long gone by the time the officers arrived.

Never-nude O' the Week: A man attempted to shoplift a pair of shorts by wearing them out of the store under his pants. His novel approach to layering wasn't clever enough to fool store staff who noticed the man exit the dressing room empty-handed.

A man charging toward a group of people downtown and shouting expletives caught the attention of one officer who decided to investigate. After an officer intervened, the man explained that the group of people he was berating included the man's girlfriend and her family. The man also informed the officer that he had recently consumed about 10 drinks before his outburst, according to an incident report.

A man reported that his duffle bag containing $300 worth of diet supplements and two expired Miss USA pageant badges was stolen from his car. According to an incident report, the man told officers that he has security cameras positioned in several locations outside of his home, but they are pointed at the ground because he suspects that the FBI has hacked into his security system. The man also told officers that he believes his ex-wife is also somehow connected to the crime.

A grocery store employee snatched a customer's prescription medication while bagging the man's groceries. Store security footage shows the employee grabbing the medication and heading off to the men's room. The customer later returned in search of his missing meds, but when the employee returned the bottle, it was discovered that more than 20 pills were missing from the man's prescription.


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