6 ridonkulous places to be seen in your Donk 

1998 Ford Vic - Ryan Jenkins, 27-inch rims @ Buffalo South

Special thanks to Tint Works

1998 Ford Vic - Ryan Jenkins, 27-inch rims @ Buffalo South

What's a Donk? Well, it's kind of like pornography: You'll know it when you see it. What? That's not good enough? You need more? OK. Look for a boat of a car — like an Oldsmobile or an Impala — painted the color of a Blow Pop and sporting rims that would fit on Godzilla's ring finger. They're big, they're larger than life, and they're better than that suppository-shaped hybrid your smug, granola-eating neighbor drives around town. If we had a Donk, here's where we'd drive it.

1. The Battery. Don't you know that nothing gets the blue-haired blue bloods all hot and bothered more than a big ole Donk?

2. Angel Oak. The Angel Oak is like the oldest tree in the world. She's seen it all. So it takes a lot to impress her. Your tricked-out ride surely will.

3. Folly Road. It's summertime, and that means that all roads leading to Folly are jam-packed. What better way to stake out your piece of the street than with a car the size of the Kraken's schlong?

4. I'On. The streets here are not known for their width. Will your big Donk even fit? That's what she said.

5. Atlantic Avenue. We'd only go there between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m., and we'd drive around with our windows rolled down, whistling, whistling away.

6. The Park Circle circle. If we had a Donk, we'd call her Princess Playa and we'd paint her the same glittering purple as Prince's trench coat in Purple Rain and we'd drive her around and around and around this loop until we puked a purple stream of Nehi grape soda.

Summer Guide 2010

  • 7 ridonkulous fireworks

    If you haven't been a part of a bottle rocket war, you haven't lived. The smell of sulphur in the middle of the night sure as hell beats the smell of napalm in the morning. But finding a place to wage war — and enough people to participate — is damn near impossible these days. And rightfully so. Stray rockets have a way of starting unintentional fires and wayward ocular accidents. So stick to the relatively safe stuff.
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  • 5 ridonkulous watersports to pick up

    Sailing, Kayaking, Kiteboarding, Surfing, Paddleboarding
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  • 5 ridonkulous reasons to go to Edisto Beach

    The Drive, Dockside Restaurant, Campgrounds, Old Post Office Restaurant
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  • 6 ridonkulous summer treats

    Charleston is teeming with sweets shops that we enjoy throughout the year, but when the weather starts getting sticky, sometimes wolfing down a cupcake isn't the most appealing option. Then you know it's time to switch to the icy cold treats.
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  • 7 most ridonkulus Fourth of July celebrations

    4th of July Celebration, North Charleston July 4th Festival, Patriots Point Independence Day, Fourth of July Party on Ashley Point, An American Celebration, S.C. Aquarium Fourth of July Celebration, Uncle Sam Jam
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  • 7 most ridonkulous things to do with a watermelon

    Summer is shoving your face into a fruit the size of your head. It's a seed-spitting contest at a backyard barbecue. It's wondering if that one seed you accidentally swallowed will germinate in your stomach. It's bright green and even brighter pink. Summer is watermelon.
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  • 5 ridonkulous reasons to go to Sullivan's

    Middle Street, Free parking, Fort Moultrie, View of downtown, Picturesque paths
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  • 5 ridonkulous reasons to go to Folly Beach

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  • 7 ridonkulously cool things to do with the kids this summer

    Carolina Ice Palace, AMF Charleston Lanes, Hot Wheels, Party Kingdom, CHildren's Museum, S.C. Aquarium, Fisher-Price Movie Series at The Terrace
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  • 5 most ridonkulous places to buy a swimsuit

    Las Olas, Sally Bettes Resort Shop, Everything But Water, McKelvin's Surf Shop, Target
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  • 5 most ridonkulous weekend getaways

    Sanctuary at Kiawah, Beaufort, Go camping, Savannah, Asheville
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  • 5 most ridogulous places in Charleston

    James Island County Park, Riverfront Park, Isle of Palms, Palmetto Islands County Park, Hampton Park
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  • 6 ridonkulous outdoor attractions for ridonkulous fun

    Frankie's Fun Park, Blackbeard's Cove, Whirlin' Waters, Charles Towne Landing, Magnolia Plantation and Gardens, Center for Birds of Prey
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  • 8 most ridonkulous outdoor bars

    Blind Tiger, Taco Boy downtown, Red's Ice House, Rooftop Bar, Coconut Joe's, Triangle Char & Bar, Salty Mike's, Vickery's
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  • 10 ridonkulously delicious things to throw on the grill

    For some, summer smells like cocoa butter. For others, sweat. And then there are those for whom it smells like a nasty combination of pluff mud, horse piss, rotten fish, and an Ohio pork belly sizzling in the burning sun. Pork belly? Mmm. Now we're thinking about food. Hmm. What else would we like to eat right now?
    • Jun 23, 2010

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