Friday, August 31, 2018

Yep, there's now a real-life 'Simpsons' Kwik-E-Mart in Myrtle Beach

Doh wait, go now

Posted by Tim Housand on Fri, Aug 31, 2018 at 4:55 PM

There be Buzz Cola in there! - PROVIDED
  • Provided
  • There be Buzz Cola in there!
This just in: Visitors to Broadway at the Beach can now experience the magic of a real-life Kwik-E-Mart, the Springfield staple straight out of The Simpsons. Yep, the famous, slightly culturally insensitive corner store from the long-running, groundbreaking, ham-steaming Fox show has an actual, physical location in Myrtle Beach. It’s an idea so unique — the first of its kind outside of Universal Studios — that if Mr. Burns were real, I’m sure he would have already bought it out.

The store will sell treats familiar to the show's mega-fans such as Buzz Cola and Squishees (Krusty-Os to be announced?) right alongside Simpsons merch, including a whole line of Duff Beer t-shirts and koozies.

It's all part of The Simpsons in 4-D experience, which also includes a theater modeled after the show’s Aztec Theater. Simpsons diehards can peruse the fully-stocked and themed store while enjoying a Squishee in one of several flavors inspired by the show. For more Homer-ish fans, you can even buy a pie-sized Lard Lad Donut.

The Kwik-E-Mart is located on Highland Avenue between the Leftorium and Coolsville Comics … sorry, wrong universe. The real Kwik-E-Mart is located on the Grissom Parkway side of Broadway at the Beach, by Joe’s Crab Shack.
  • Provided
  • Provided
  • Provided

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Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Once again, Thomas Ravenel says he's quitting Southern Charm

"They took advantage of me."

Posted by Lauren Hurlock on Tue, Aug 14, 2018 at 5:12 PM

  • Courtesy of Bravo

Thomas Ravenel, star of the Charleston-based reality show Southern Charm, tweeted that he will no longer be participating in the show. (Again.)

Ravenel, who has starred in the show since its premiere in 2014, has threatened to quit before, so we'll see if it sticks this time. The last time he quit, it lasted a month-and-a-half, and two of the reasons cited for quitting were that it was interfering with his Senate run and they lied about showing his "fanny."

As a quick refresher, Ravenel has a lot of titles: former state treasurer, former prisoner, former polo player, and now, former reality show star. He has previously advocated for an end to the war on drugs, contemplated renouncing his U.S. citizenship, and ran for Lindsey Graham's Senate seat.

  • Screenshot

In May, Ravenel was named as a suspect in a forcible rape case. Bravo and production company Haymaker released a statement saying "[they are] conducting an investigation, and once all the information is gathered and carefully reviewed, appropriate action will be taken."

Much of the last season centered around Ravenel's relationship with his new girlfriend Ashley and the parental obligations he shares with Kathryn Dennis, the mother of his two children and Charm co-star.

During the Southern Charm reunion, a statement from Ravenel's lawyers was read: "Along with Bravo, our client made the mutual decision not to attend today’s reunion taping as there is a pending investigation. Our client is fully cooperating with authorities on this investigation. He expects to be completely vindicated once the investigation is concluded. He sends his best regards to his fans and his fellow castmates."

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Saturday, July 28, 2018

Confessions of a Southern Charm Newbie: Closing time (for real)

S5 E16

Posted by Dustin Waters on Sat, Jul 28, 2018 at 3:02 PM

Warning: Nothing this exciting happens - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • Warning: Nothing this exciting happens

Hey everybody. Welcome back for the last recap of this season of Southern Charm. And I mean it this time. So sit back, take your time, and let's do this right.

Considering everything that we've seen these past 15 episodes, there was one particular movie line that kept running through my head as I awaited the finale. If you'll recall 1988's Cocktail starring Tom Cruise, there is a moment when our hotshot bartender/enemy of Xenu is in mid-breakup, and he says, “Everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn't end.” Let that be our main thesis as we examine this super-sized season finale of Southern Charm.

Looking back at last week, we waded through part one of the season five reunion. Due to a pending investigation, Thomas Ravenel was unable to represent himself pro se at his reality show reunion – a standard legal position. Instead his attorney forwarded ahead a public statement, which was allowed within 500 feet of a woman and able to cross state lines without an escort from the U.S. Marshals.

Speaking of the worst things to reach New York City since Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark, Thomas' new girlfriend Ashley was a major topic of conversation among the cast during last week's episode. Although she failed to make a full appearance alongside everyone else on the show, I'm sure we'll be getting our fill of Ashley very soon.

Other than that, we discussed Craig's slow, almost Flowers for Algernon-style, de-evolution, and Kathryn's breasts, which are now listed as associate producers in the show's opening credits.

Now, on to the show.

When your friend just farted, and he knows you know - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • When your friend just farted, and he knows you know

This week we start things out with host Andy Cohen, who looks like a cross between Anderson Cooper and Martin Scorsese. Cohen begins to ask about Kathryn's history of depression and substance abuse, which she says started when she was in college working in politics around a bunch of men who objectified her. Good thing she found Thomas to rescue her from all that.

Cohen mentions the episode this season when Kathryn stopped taking her antidepressants and disappeared for several days. Kathryn says she's glad that at least this happened on the show, so that viewers experiencing similar problems can know they aren't alone. This is great. Surely the show won't immediately undercut this important moment. Smash cut to...

Shep begins explaining the difference between “browning out” and a full-on blackout. In his words, a brown out means that you maintain a sort of “snapshot memory,” as compared to a werewolf-style loss of time. Then continues the discussion where everyone asks the Fates how Shep hasn't impregnated someone or contracted a veritable gumbo of STDs. Really, Shep's undercarriage should be like someone trying to transport gasoline in a plastic bag at this point. Shep should parlay this episode into a sponsorship for Penicillin. Either way, good for him.

The better news is that Shep's knee is doing well after his surgery. And that we're done closely examining his sex history. Oh wait, no, we aren't. As always, “The past is never dead. It's not even past.” Especially when boning each other is concerned.

As silver-haired ringleader Andy Cohen steers the conversation toward Shep and Kathryn's past sexual encounters (between three and five times, we're told) I'm reminded of a certain period from childhood. Back in the day, my family got a discount on rent for clearing out the trash compactor at our apartment complex. As we stood on the lip of the compactor, we had a very special stick that we would use to poke the trash into compliance. This was, in so many words, our pokin' stick. And it served us well.

That is, until it was stolen. Lost forever. Because in this world, you can't even have a good stick to stab at errant kitchen chairs or cardboard boxes like some modern-day Ahab.

But let me tell you, seeing Andy Cohen stir up that garbage between Southern Charm cast mates really brought me back to my days as a trash poker. Thanks, Andy.

Bill Cosby Jell-O Pudding face - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • Bill Cosby Jell-O Pudding face

Turning from matters of love to commerce, Austen explains that he remains unemployed and his beer remains in development. Currently named “Trop Hop,” which is most definitely a song by Shaggy, Austen is pitching his beer to distributors. Sounds great. Best of luck.

Every single thing else aside, we learn that Chelsea's rescue dog formerly belonged to Michael Vick's fighting circle. Jesus. Why wasn't this the entire focus of this season? An entire episode was spent on polo, and they've got a rescued Michael Vick pitbull waiting in the wings. Why was this kept from us?

Not to linger too much on something interesting, Andy Cohen directs the conversation to hair salon gossip and Chelsea's hug with Austen. Everyone then goes to sleep.

Roused by the commercial break music stinger, we see Thomas' new girlfriend Ashley join the rest of the cast. Ashley remains a walking vocal fry. She excuses away her past fights with Kathryn by saying that no one understands her “humor” and that she just likes to “poke” at people. Blehh.

Then we get the romantic story of how Ashley and Thomas met. Ashley begins to swoon as she remembers the first thing Thomas every said to her: “What do you do for a living?”

Wow. What a modern-day Cyrano de Bergerac. Was he doing crowd work at the Chuckle Hut? The only thing worse would be if he approached her in a bar and asked, “Is someone using this chair?”

Regardless, Ashley was touched that someone would show such interest in what she does for a living. So much so, that she immediately abandoned her career and moved across the country. Who knows what would have happened if Thomas would have been so bold and charming to ask her the time or where the bathrooms are?

To make things better, Ashley says her favorite part about dating Thomas is “scaring him.” This is not a joke. Ashley literally says she hides fake bugs under Thomas' things, jumps out from around corners to frighten him, and stages other acts that will surely weaken Thomas' heart until their fatal, I mean fateful, I mean faithful wedding night.

Asked how Thomas is responding to being investigated by the authorities, Ashley says he's really softened up and enjoys staying in more. Shocking. I'm sure his other new hobbies involve removing his fingerprints and studying up on extradition laws.

“Oh yes, Thomas is a real homebody these days. Always trying to graft my face onto his or some other sort of rainy-day fun.”

Oh, and then we learn that Thomas was dating Ashley when he had intercourse with Kathryn after last season's reunion episode. This seems like it should be interesting and dramatic, but it's not. It is just sad.

The good news is Ashley is working now. We don't get more details than that. Ashley moves past this topic by tossing Patricia to the wolves, saying Patricia was trying to sabotage her relationship, but then the audio of the preview I received gets a little choppy. Let me explain.

The camera cuts away from Ashley to reaction shots of other characters as we hear her say, “Well, someone was calling Thomas a lunatic, and everyone was pretty much saying it was Kathryn.” Ashley goes on to imply that Patricia was the culprit, but let's ignore that for a second.

Maybe it is because the screeners I receive aren't always the finished episodes (especially the audio mixes) or maybe it's because I was listening through a good set of headphones, but there were clear edits in Ashley's dialogue. I'll indicate where I heard these cuts or edits using forward slashes: “Well/ someone/ was calling Thomas a lunatic, and/ everyone was pretty much saying it was Kathryn.”

Now, I don't care who is right in this situation, but I call into question Ashley's exact comments at this moment. Although chances are she expressed herself much more dumbly in this scene, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Give us the original tapes, Bravo - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • Give us the original tapes, Bravo

Anyway, we then revisit the days and weeks and months the cast spent in Hilton Head. Everyone agrees that it was a horrible time. This quickly devolves into Kathryn calling Ashley an asshole because she criticized Kathryn for the drug tests that Thomas and the courts require she take. The problem with anytime Ashley talks is that it's like that teambuilding exercise where you pass previously used stepping stones forward to build the next step. It's as if Ashley can only arrive at her next point by cannibalizing everything she's said in the moments leading up to that and regurgitating up some new brand of nonsense.

Ashley eventually apologizes for saying what she said in Hilton Head, but then says she meant every word of it. Ashley is then shown all of the horrible things that Thomas said about her this past season. She brushes this off as “entertainment,” while the rest of the cast stages an intervention on her behalf.

Moments after I type this, Ashley sarcastically asks, “Is this an intervention?” I think it may have become just that very thing. That's so sad.

Everyone proceeds to talk over one another, warning Ashley that she is following in Kathryn's footsteps as far as Thomas is concerned. There seems to be some genuine concern here. Then we go to commercial.

Instead of returning to this seemingly goodhearted effort, the new topic is questioning whether or not Ashley is a professional escort. This remains pretty gross in my opinion.

You can come up with plenty of new and inventive ways to defame a woman you dislike. It's just lazy to revert back to calling her a prostitute (If she is a legitimate prostitute, she will probably tell you unless you're a cop).

To reuse a reference from episode one of this season, calling a woman a prostitute is the Ready Player One of insults. It's easy and everyone will say “Ewwww,” but it's ultimately meaningless.

If you want to insult someone, make them think about it. And if you're in the South, make it sound like a compliment.

Perfect example: Ashley is exactly the type of woman that a guy like Thomas Ravenel deserves.

Anyway, Kathryn claims that Thomas mentioned having Ashley sign an NDA. Suddenly, the lawyer in Craig emerges – roused from a thousand-year slumber – and he suggests that maybe Thomas allowed Ashley to get close, maybe too close, and she may one day testify against Thomas in court.

Anyway, Ashley continues to excuse all of her past actions by bringing up Kathryn losing custody of her kids. Kathryn eventually calls Ashley an unkind, sadistic person. Ashley soon exits the stage. Why won't this episode end?

Heading into the final lightning round, Craig and Naomie remain irrevocably split. Without Thomas and Whitney on stage, Shep is now the oldest cast member to make the reunion – because life is funny, yet cruel. Cameran is raising a child. Chelsea and Austen are dating new people, and – what?! – everyone is toasting with Austen's beer.

Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Drink ‘til you can barely pay your rent. Cheers cheers. - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • Drink to remember. Drink to forget. Drink ‘til you can barely pay your rent. Cheers cheers.

Yay, it has grapefruit in it, which may not interact well some medications. Please consult your physician if you think you might be having an adverse reaction to Trop Hoppelmintz, Big Poppa Trop Rinse, or whatever Austen's beer is called these days.

All that aside, I've had fun writing for y'all. Thanks for following me through this season. Your insistence that I write about the reunion episodes earned me an extra paycheck, so you are the real heroes. Until next time, this is Dustin Waters, saying, “If you have my old garbage stick, please return it at your earliest convenience.” Goodbye.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Int'l Ocean Film Tour partners with Charleston Music Hall, SC Aquarium this September

Raising money for sea turtles

Posted by Katie Lyons on Wed, Jul 25, 2018 at 10:28 AM


The International Ocean Film Tour (IOFT) heads back to Charleston on Sun. Sept. 9 at 7 p.m. The film lineup includes six stunning documentary films with a total runtime of two hours. All of the films take the viewer on a voyage of the cosmic ocean as protagonists explore life above and below the waves. Film subjects range from the exploration of coral reefs to rowing across the Indian Ocean.

The film lineup is: The Big Wave Project — A Band of Brothers, Vamizi, Ocean Rider, Water II, And Then We Swam, and Paradigm Lost.

In addition to the celebration of the sea, the tour has an environmental policy focus to encourage viewers to take action and help protect our natural resources. Ocean Film Tour partnered with the South Carolina Aquarium to raise awareness for their Sea Turtle Care Center. The IOFT started in March and will stop at 130 cities around the world. Tickets are $15 for the show with an option to add dinner for an additional $32.

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Friday, July 20, 2018

Confessions of a Southern Charm Newbie: My First Reunion Ruined


Posted by Dustin Waters on Fri, Jul 20, 2018 at 1:12 PM

'Beat me with a sock full of nickels.' - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • 'Beat me with a sock full of nickels.'

Well. Never say that the voices of many cannot effect change – at least as it concerns reality television recaps.

As some of you may know, for the past few seasons of writing about Southern Charm, I've never once touched on the reunion episodes that punctuate each season. This is partly because our network overlords don't always provide media previews for the reunion episodes, which leaves me with only a few less-than-legal options to view the show.

Another reason is because I don't really know what happens during these reunions. I've never seen one beyond a few brief clips shown during the regular season. But now that so many of you have spoken up, asking that we follow this season to the bitterest of ends, I can't help but oblige. After all, this is in the original spirit of this column. So what I'm gonna do is toss out a few predictions and we go along and see what comes true.

Welcome back. It's like we never left.

To start things off, the episode begins a little in medias res as the cast of Southern Charm arrives in what appears to be New York City, which you may recognize from all those Marvel movies. Anyway, Craig, Shep, and Austen step out of their cabs. Hey, Shep has a beard. That's different. I can see why people stick around for these reunion episodes. Shep with a beard. But this brings me to my first question: How much time has passed since the season finale?

Does Shep hibernate each off-season, only to emerge for a brief reunion taping – his hair long and unkempt, his long fingernails dragging the pavement?

Anyway, we get a little behind-the-scenes peek as everyone prepares for the show. Craig folds pillowcases. Austen feeds Shep a sausage. And Cameran says she's excited to see sparks fly between Kathryn and Thomas' new girlfriend Ashley. And in case you haven't noticed, I will always refer to Ashley as "Thomas' new girlfriend Ashley." Check back through everything I wrote this season. It's always there.

Jumping ahead, we find most of the cast gathered on stage. Naomie says she would drink piss if there were alcohol in it. What's the major hold up? The host – Andrew Cone? Cohen? Andy Clone? – says that Kathryn's breast are gumming up the works.

Hard cut to Kathryn backstage wearing a lovely "outfit" that is struggling to "fit her outs" if you know what I mean.

My family calls them ‘breast buds’ when you’re young, but at a certain point they become boobs. - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • My family calls them ‘breast buds’ when you’re young, but at a certain point they become boobs.

With that in mind, we get a bunch of quick cuts that inform us that Austen doesn't pay on dates, Shep doesn't always use protection, and Cameran thinks Ashley is a horrible human being for her treatment of Kathryn. Then, we get a dramatic montage of Ashley entering the building.

This brings me to my second question: Is the cast being allowed to drink? Is it like the old school Hollywood Squares, where someone goes for "O" on a clearly soused Paul Lynde? I can't wait to find out.

With that said, host Andy Cone looks into the camera and announced that the reunion is ready to begin. Oh shit. We're just getting started.

Our silver-haired host decides to serve from the left, first commenting that Kathryn's breasts look bigger, then asking Craig how he's doing and saying he wants a pillow so bad. Andy Cone eventually works his way around to Shep, who with his beard resembles a schlubby Errol Flynn. At this point, I realize that my actor references are slowly working backwards and I should bury myself in the TCM vault (beside all known copies of Angus.)

Reaching Austen, who is wearing his "take me seriously glasses," our host asks if he brought some beer. Between Craig's pillows and Austen's beer, Andy Cone is walking away with plenty of things he doesn't really want.

At the four-minute mark, we finally address the elephant not in the room – Thomas Ravenel. His absence is highlighted by a statement from his attorney, remarking on the pending investigation against Ravenel. All I can say is that there has never been an absence more welcome than that of Thomas Ravenel's. I can see Thomas' grade-school teachers telling him it's OK to take a break as they push him out of the classroom with a pack of cigarettes. Thomas Ravenel is so unwanted that he can't even get called for jury duty. Security cameras prefer to look the other way. If my hand rotted off, I would punch myself in the face with my nub forever to avoid looking at Thomas Ravenel.

‘My name is Austen and I’m an intellectual, so you can eat my shorts.’ - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • ‘My name is Austen and I’m an intellectual, so you can eat my shorts.’

The cast then weighs in, with Shep saying that Thomas is super cool and funny about 90 percent of the time. I guess, the other 10 percent is when he's alone with a woman.

Building on that, Andy Cone inquires about the strong theme of woman power or whatever that ran throughout this season. Craig rolls his eyes, saying that women speaking up for themselves wasn't necessary because they all dated "great guys" and then turned into "assholes." He says this immediately after his close friend's absence was excused due to a pending investigation.

With that said, I'm going to skip ahead while the cast rehashes a few events from last season and touch on something that popped up in this reunion special. At one point, the host begins his statement by saying "Linda from Pittsburgh said..." What fresh hell is this? Is Andy just going to read the internet to us while the cast trades misgivings? Is that what these reunions are about? With this in mind, the only reunions that I've participated in involve locking up everything you don't want stolen and serving beans to your albino cousins.

Back to the episode, we hear a lengthy discussion about JD, who is like a Lowcountry version of Captain Planet villain Hoggish Greedly. JD is the type of guy who begins to sputter when he laughs. He's a parking lot fireworks salesman with delusions of grandeur. Beyond that, I don't know what to say.

At this point in the episode, we've seen multiple hype packages building up Ashley like she's Chris Jericho or something. One of these involves a very professional woman backstage asking how Ashley wants her hair arranged and Ashley responding by saying "I've been known to do this thing. This hair-flipping thing."

No, Ashley. That's decidedly not what you've been known to do. Don't try to build some myth about all your nonsense.

Next we get a long line of questions about Cameran's pregnancy and childbirth. Apparently Cameran tweeted a comment about deciding to stop breastfeeding, which drew a lot of negative comments. It's at this point that Craig responds by saying, "I'm a formula baby." Hell yeah, Craig. Similac. I hear you.

The host then asks if the expectation of being a "perfect mom" is greater in Charleston. Cameran and Kathryn quickly expand that to the entire South, which may be true on a personal level, but overall children and mothers are treated pretty poorly in the South. A quick look at prenatal health services, postpartum care, and all the rest will show you that most Southerners prefer to yell at you for using the wrong type of mayonnaise than ensure your child has been inoculated and fed vegetables.

The SoCho boys feeding themselves forever - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • The SoCho boys feeding themselves forever

Finally, 20 minutes into the episode, we reach the biggest question of the season: What happened with Craig and the butterknife?

As Craig explains it, he had a whole slew of folks over one night and let them rage at the wall in his home that he hoped to remove. Feeling the bloodlust in the air, Craig stabbed at his wall with a butterknife and now his hand is curled up like the monkey's paw after you've made your first wish.

Craig explains that he is now a licensed attorney doing a lot of pro bono work. This makes sense because Craig is exactly the attorney I would choose if I had no other choice.

After Craig's heterosexuality is challenged, he suggests crafting a pillow that says, "Straight guys can sew too," which is great. Andy counters with "Real men watch Bravo," and with that, toxic masculinity has been conquered. Now all men – gay, straight, trans, and beyond – can just pursue whatever pointless nonsense we wish without fear of feeling we should make an angry face when another guy looks at us. Because if there is anything that unites all men, it's an extreme dedication to dumb shit like the Thundercats, antiquated cars, or sport.

After a long debate over whether or not Naomie is dating someone new, the conversation veers back to Craig's life coach and his incredible ability to lie. Displaying what does not pass as self-awareness, Craig says that he was always referring to his amazing ability to lie to himself, to delude himself, to convince himself "Yes, you are better at pillows than Dustin, the guy who writes that column you've never read. He could never conquer the dog pillow world single-handedly." "What a deluded fool," I say as I repeatedly try to post my own biography to Wikipedia.

Then there is a really long conversation about Naomie getting a nosejob, which I never noticed and is none of my business. What is my business is the conversation about sharing locations on you and your partner's phone. This became a point of contention with Craig and Naomie this season, but let me tell you, it is the best. I track my wife everywhere. Of course, she can also see my location, but everyone else I know makes it much easier. Simply by using Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, I can track their locations, as well as what they order at restaurants and the last cutest thing their dogs did. Shep exemplifies the purest sense of this, saying, "If you want to know where I am, come join me. I'll buy you a beer and a shot."

Oh, and where is Ashley? Is she just waiting in the wings like the Phantom of the Opera? Do they not have another chair for her? Is the production team convinced that she and everyone else will be rendered unable to discuss another topic in her presence? Yes. That is it.

I am guessing that this episode will end with Ashley entering the set and everything cutting to black as the rest of the cast huffs and puffs.

Before that can happen, the best piece of news is that Kathryn has finally gotten a new phone after expertly cracking the shit out of her old phone screen. I would love to hear an in-depth dive regarding Kathryn's phone screen, but no one cares about my feelings.

After fielding online questions from online randos like "Mark from New Mexico," Kathryn says that she's finally worked her way to joint custody with her children. Asked why she seemed to get along much better with Thomas this season, Kathryn attributes this to being "numb" to a lot of his actions. You know? Being numb to it all? That perfectly healthy thing. But Craig's right about women these days being assholes. Well done, Craig.

When a bunch of teenagers have to spend New Year’s Eve with their parents. - BRAVO SCREENSHOT
  • Bravo Screenshot
  • When a bunch of teenagers have to spend New Year’s Eve with their parents.

With all this said, Kathryn says she hasn't spoken to Ashley since the season finale which was either a few weeks, months, or 1,000 years ago. Time means nothing anymore watching this show.

At this point, I expect Ashley to leap out from behind the curtain like some sort of creeper, but that doesn't happen. Instead, everyone breaks into tears as they describe how Thomas victimized Kathryn and gaslighted them all. I don't have anything funny to say about that. It seems pretty serious and catalyzes into a whole different thing. I wish that someone would have – I don't know – farted while all this was going on, but instead we just have to contend with a purely human moment. Full of sentiment. Without any farts. "Fartless," as Wordsworth would say. Pure poetry.

So here's the thing, remember how I thought there would be some sort of stinger at the end of this episode involving Ashley? Well, that didn't even happen. Instead they replayed the clip of Cameran calling Ashley inhuman that we saw earlier. That's, ummm, bad. And it makes me wonder where Ashley is. She may be a terrible person, but what have you done with her Andy Cone?! It's not up to you and your henchmen to be the law.

We’ll see how this all wraps up next week. I guess. Unless they conjure some new fresh hell for us all to wade through until the fall.

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