I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to call Tim Scott “Uncle Tim.” And as much as I want to do that, well, there hasn’t been a situation where that would apply. Scott, the Palmetto State’s lone black GOPer in D.C., hasn’t really done anything that would earn this dismissive moniker.

Yes, he may be a politically convenient lackey for the Tea Party who is already itching for a reason to impeach President Obama, but Rep. Scott hasn’t turned on the black community directly.

Truth be told, Tim is a Sen. Lindsey Graham style neo-con who plans to wage war across the globe until all the evildoers have been smitten and the United States has created a benevolent global hegemony.

Now, some might say that the GOP’s agenda itself is an attack on the black community, but I wouldn’t. To me, the national Republican Party has no agenda against any segment of the American population, minority or otherwise.

Their only agenda is to embarrass the Democrats. How that affects you and me — heck, even the rest of the world — they don’t give a falling credit rating. And frankly, that makes them no different than the national Democratic Party, whose sole agenda is to embarrass the GOP.

I wish that we could simply be honest with ourselves that neither party hopes to ever accomplish anything and just put up a scoreboard in the Senate chambers so we can know exactly who is ahead in the game. The way I see it, the GOP is currently in the lead, but they’re in foul trouble. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. At least not with benchers like Tim Scott on the squad.

Of course, that’s neither here nor there. The point I was trying to make was that there is no reason, at least as far as I see it, to call Tim Scott “Uncle Tim.”

However, I’d be willing to bet dollars to Dos Equis, that NAACP President and CEO Benjamin Todd Jealous is about this close to calling Nikki Haley “Uncle Nik,” “Aunt Nimrata,” or something of the kind.

See, Jealous believes that Haley, as a member of a formerly oppressed minority, is betraying a fellow formerly oppressed minority. How so? By allowing the Confederate flag to fly in front of the S.C. Statehouse.

(Apparently, Jealous is unaware that Haley has no authority when it comes to when or where the Confederate flag flies. It would seem that the NAACP leader has no idea that Haley is largely a powerless figurehead whose main job is to bring new business to the Palmetto State and not embarrass us on national TV, neither of which Haley has managed to do at this point.)

Anyhow, this is what Jealous had to say about Haley yesterday at the start of the 102nd Annual NAACP Convention:

“Perhaps one of the most perplexing examples of the contradictions of this moment in history is that Nikki Haley, South Carolina’s first Governor of Color, continues to fly the Confederate Flag in front of her state’s capitol. Given the similarities between our struggles to end slavery and segregation, and her ancestors’ struggle to end British colonialism and oppression in India, my question to Governor Haley is one that Dr. King often asked himself: ‘What would Gandhi do?’”

Um, I don’t know, sit down?

Starve?

Shave his head?

Write an angry letter to the editor?

Sign an online petition?

Pen a rambling, nearly nonsensical blog post?

Whatever. Nevermind.

(As a side note: SPIN magazine has just released a free compilation called Newermind in celebration of the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana’s Nevermind. The collection features Surfer Blood, Titus Andronicus, and Foxy Shazam. To download it, click here.)

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