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Friday, September 3, 2010

Cut, clip, and clean your crevices

Posted on Friday, September 3

Let's talk about hygiene. I know a lot of people who don't seem to know what this word means. Maybe they don't own mirrors or have senses of smell, both good ways to avoid bad hygiene. Bad hygiene can ruin an otherwise attractive person. It can also push already-unattractive people over the edge to "ew get the fuck away from me" people.
So let's have a little lesson on hygiene. Teeth. Brush them. Often. Floss them. Often. Check them out in the mirror occasionally. If they have shit in the crevices, clean it out. Brush your tongue too. It helps. Check every now and then for rotting teeth if you don't go to the dentist. That shit smells.
Clean out your ears. Use a Q-tip or some baby oil or whatever the fuck you want. I just don't want to see chunks of earwax in there.
Dudes, trim your nosehairs. Girls, sorry, but you have a lot more to trim. Facial hair needs to be removed (none of that bleaching shit), armpit and leg hair shaved, do whatever the hell you want with your pubes, I just don't want to see them hanging out halfway down your legs if you're wearing a bathing suit (or shorts if you're really hairy).
Trim your toenails. Don't let them extend beyond the tip of your toe. Use a pumice stone every now and then. Guys too. No one likes crusty feet.
Wash your face. Acne is gross. Get some goddamn Proactive if you're all zitty.
Wash your "crevices." Often. These are stinky traps. Some people don't seem to realize they need to be scrubbed.

-dirty deeds

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Comments (9)

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mmmm stinky traps

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Posted by Killgoner on September 3, 2010 at 9:51 PM

I love it, and the comment above!

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Posted by kimbo on September 4, 2010 at 10:16 AM

Dirty Deeds, while there are some people who are most definitely slack in their hygiene; look up this abbreviation called TMAU (Trimethylaminuria.) Unfortunately for these people hygiene isn't the issue. It's a rare medical condition caused by a metabolic disorder. My Aunt has TMAU. In this day and age of modern medicine, TMAU is incurable.

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Posted by Dude! Seriously?! on September 4, 2010 at 11:52 AM

Ok fuck face keep your opinions to your stuck up little ass. How do you know what everyone likes and dislikes? You are not everyone you are not God. So why would you assume what everyone likes and dislikes?

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Posted by nanners on September 4, 2010 at 11:53 AM

Is this from the girl bitching about the modeling gig a couple of weeks ago?

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Posted by pissedoff yankee on September 5, 2010 at 6:00 PM

So you stated that " I know a lot of people who don't seem to know what this word means." maybe it's time to hang around different people. That could solve a lot of this.

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Posted by Public Enema on September 7, 2010 at 9:50 AM

Nanners... I don't think it is a stretch to say that nobody likes poorly-kept teeth, especially those with detritus lodged in-between. Also, in a town of flip-flop-shod people, foot maintenance is a reasonable request.

Now the bit about "no bleaching?" That's just mean.

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Posted by factoryconnection on September 7, 2010 at 10:04 AM

Seriously, you have nothing more important to worry about than other people's toenails and earwax? Get a life.

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Posted by StillHurting on September 8, 2010 at 12:07 PM

My mom and dad don't seem to care much about how.their teeth look. So ppppppptttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

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Posted by nanners on September 10, 2010 at 3:28 PM
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