Another Twilight movie, another $140 million into the pockets of Summit Entertainment, another bad movie. It ought to be as simple as that, and in some ways it is. The difference here is that occasionally director Bill Condon manages to make the film a heady mix of visual splendor and over-the-top camp. That’s no mean feat when you’re talking a movie with a leading lady who already looks like a vampire yearning to become one — and whose basic notion of acting consists of running her hand through her hair. This is not to say I’m recommending this movie. Considering the squandered talent of its director, it’s slightly depressing. The problem, of course, is that Condon can only do so much with the material at hand, especially in this case where maybe an hour of plot is stretched out to 117 minutes. It starts off with Bella (Kristen Stewart) doing a voiceover about putting away childish things (like fantasizing about dreamy dead guys and muscle-bound wolf boys?), but then the movie immediately gets down to business with pissy Jacob (Taylor Lautner) throwing away his invitation to her wedding with Edward (Robert Pattinson), bursting out of his clothes, turning into one of those ludicrous Buick-sized CGI wolves, and running off into the woods to do whatever it is these boys do in the woods. Unfortunately, this level of overheated lunacy is short-lived as we plunge into the wedding preparations. Even the wedding biz has its moments, but as soon as we get to the honeymoon and Bella’s pregnancy, the whole thing goes to hell pretty fast, and it just gets sillier as it trudges ever so slowly to its non-ending set-up for Part 2 next year. That, too, will make a fortune.
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