We sat on the curb in Park Circle, waiting for the Christmas parade to begin. To our left sat a quiet, well-mannered, white family. The man wore a hunter's cap, his wife a camouflage jacket. They brought their kids to the parade in a wagon. Father carried food back to his family from the tents. Mother watched her children, making sure they didn't step out into the road. They clearly cared and looked out for each other. To our right was another kind of white family.
They were a slovenly and obnoxious band of big-bellied bugabubbas, each one more grotesquely overweight and slack-jawed than the rest; it was as if gravity itself was pulling all of their body parts to the ground. Their eyes were vacant, as if the shallow bit of water that was left in the gene pool was slowly leaking out. And at least two were wearing Bluetooths for seemingly no reason other than some misguided sense of status — clearly, they were not on the job, and it was questionable if any of them had held anything other than a pressing urge to pee for years.
The most telling moment came when minutes before the start of the parade, one of the women hit one of the teens, knocking her into the street. It was a full-on blow, the kind of targeted punch delivered by Manny Pacquiao, but unlike Pacman, there was anger behind this punch, hatred even. And evidently, it all happened because the teen had tried to pull a harmless practical joke on the older woman. None of the bugabubbas batted an eye. I wasn't surprised. After all, these people only communicate in put-downs, curses, and threats of physical violence. And nearly anyone who grows up in a bugabubba household remains a bugabubba for life.
Watching all of this unfold, I was struck by one question: Why didn't Rocky D stop this poor girl from being hit?
Oh, wait, that probably doesn't make any sense to you. I forget sometimes that I'm one of the few people in the Holy City who actually listens to Rocky D's show on WTMA on a regular basis. Let me explain.
On Friday's installment of Radio Free Rocky D, Rocky took issue with the NAACP's announcement that it was going to boycott the Secession Play and Ball scheduled for Dec. 20 at the Gaillard Auditorium. The play and ball, hosted by the Confederate Heritage Trust and featuring Sen. Glenn McConnell, has been billed as an event that "will commemorate and celebrate the state of South Carolina for the second time becoming an independent nation."
I don't know about you, but when a group is hosting a bash to "celebrate" the secession of South Carolina — and by extension the start of the Civil War — well, it's not too difficult to see why the civil rights organization, not to mention the Holy City's black population and most of its white one as well, would take issue with it.
Apparently, Rocky doesn't see it this way, but then again he is a Johnny Reb wannabe who has embraced the Neo-Confederate movement like Pamela Des Barres took to the contact sport of scoring a backstage pass. So it's no surprise that the WTMA midday host poo-poos the NAACP protest and instead rips the group for failing to stop the reported beating of 18-month-old Louis Wright, an attack that allegedly came at the hands of three teenage boys. Louis' mother, Shakera Wright, was also arrested. Shakera and Louis are both black, and, for Rocky, that seems to be reason enough for the NAACP to be involved. If they truly cared about black people, Rocky said on Friday, then the NAACP would stop "these people" from committing these kinds of violent acts, as if the actions of the three teens and Shakera Wright were somehow indicative of the behavior of the entire black population of Charleston.
While this may make sense to a guy like Rocky D — who routinely mocks black people by using ebonics and once claimed that Mexicans eat cats and dogs — to the rest of us, this line of reasoning is clearly absurd. There are rotten people in this world. There are people that make horrendously dumb decisions, sometimes with fatal results. And there are some folks out there that are so weak-willed that they are seemingly unable to do the right thing, letting those with bad intentions do as they please. And, despite what Rocky infers, those kinds of people are not solely limited to the African-American population.
Perhaps Rocky needs to be reminded about Charles and Ashley Gordon, a white couple who were arrested in July for allegedly starving their infant son to death. Or Anthony Anderson and Harry Flynt, who were arrested for allegedly shooting a Tennessee tourist in the Market area in May. Both Anderson and Flynt are white.
I'm guessing Rocky D doesn't like to think about these two cases. Maybe it's because he feels guilty for not looking after his people when they needed him most.
I know how he feels. Rocky and I are of a kind. We're both hypocritical, smack-talking, stereotype-slinging assholes. And as such, we've got to look after each other.
Rocky, buddy, I won't let you down.