I could start this column off by saying that Erick Erickson is a choad. I won't.
Or I could say that Erickson, the minister of poopyganda at RedState.com, is a dim-witted GOP spinster who wears flame-retardant granny panties. Again, I'll pass. He may or may not for all I know. But judging by his propensity for prevarication — he recently claimed he had proof that Will Folks was paid to say that he had an affair with Nikki Haley only to later take it back — I certainly hope that he does. I sure as hell wear mine.
Or I could say that he hates Episcopalians. You know what? I think I will, but only to illustrate a point.
See, as you may be aware, a grassroots movement is underway to convince Charleston businesswoman and gay rights advocate Linda Ketner to run in the U.S. Senate race as an independent and an antidote to the Democratic Party's nominee, mystery man Alvin Greene, who is completely unable to take on the GOP nom, Jim DeMint. This a good thing.
One, Ketner's a smart egg and a gutsy gal who actually stands a chance of winning over South Carolina voters. Two, the idea of the virulently homophobic DeMint facing off against Ketner in a debate is enough to make a journalist salivate. But enough about that. What about Erickson?
Well, Erickson doesn't much care for Ketner. And oddly enough, he says it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Ketner is a lesbian. Nuh-uh, no way, no how. See, Erickson doesn't like Ketner because Ketner doesn't like Christians.
Actually, that's not quite right. Erickson says that Ketner hates Christians. In an entry titled "Better the Christian Hating Lesbian Than the Black Man," here's what he had to say:
"If the name sounds familiar it is because Ketner ran against Congressman Henry Brown in 2008. Ketner is a lesbian, which is largely inconsequential, except that added to it she openly hates Christians because of Biblical teachings against homosexuality that non-Christ-following preachers tend to avoid or lie about. In the South, however, it's readily discussed except among Episcopalians."
He adds, "So instead of going with the black man who the Democratic voters of South Carolina picked to go against DeMint, the Democrats will fall back on the Christian-hating lesbian voters have already rejected at the ballot in one of South Carolina's congressional districts."
As for Erickson's proof that Ketner's hates Christians, he mentions an op-ed penned by Ketner on an LGBT website. On the site, Q Notes, Ketner says:
"One of my past girlfriends was Jewish and used to laugh at the contradiction between my unbridled regard for Jesus and my utter disdain for Southern Christianity. I'd be carrying on about how embarrassed Christ must be for the actions of those damned Christians, and she'd say, 'There she goes again, trying to save Christ from the Christians!' I'd really like to make a bumper sticker, 'Save Christ from the Christians,' but I don't want my car keyed.
She adds, "The entire Bible mentions homosexuality maybe seven times (I say maybe because some of the translations have been challenged) ... but it mentions greed, quite specifically, over 200 times. So, if you really were a biblical literalist, that would make God's priorities pretty clear, wouldn't it?"
In conclusion, Ketner says, "If Pat, Fred, Jerry, and friends really are led by God's priorities, shouldn't they be unleashing hurricanes, terrorism, and a giant meteor on the greedy?! Wouldn't they warn America about those greedy gerts who unashamedly flaunt their perversion and are a menace to this nation? Wouldn't they attend funerals of the greedy and wave placards, shouting 'God Hates the Greedy'?"
Hmm. I don't know about you, but it seems to me that Ketner doesn't hate Christians at all, just the misguided and hypocritical ones.
Then again, I could be wrong.
But I'm not wrong about one thing: Erick Erickson hates those non-Christ following Episcopalian preachers and their congregations. And, yeah, he is a choad. A sweaty, smelly choad.