Since I have zero chance of being a guest or TS on a political talk show, much less having one of my own, I'm going to pretend that I do. This week's topic: Last week's South Carolina GOP primary. So come with me as we dive into the talk show in my mind. But first, make sure your tongue is firmly planted in your cheek.
Toby Smith: Hello and welcome to No One Asks My Opinion, But I'll Say it Anyway. I'm your host, Toby Smith. My guest today is Professor Call Me When Your A-List Is Busy. Thanks for coming in.
Professor Call Me When Your A-List Is Busy: It's no problem. I live next door.
TS: We're witnessing political history and unusual strategies in the run for the White House. Let's talk about the Republicans. What do you think about the primary in South Carolina?
PCMWYALIB: I liked that all the media people came to town. They look much better in real life. That Joe Scarborough is very tall. I took off half a day running around trying to photo bomb every live shot. My Uncle Joe from Kokomo saw me on TV. He just got cable. That was really exciting. When they left, MSNBC's Willie Geist gave the town a big shout out. Do you know how many people will come here now?
TS: That's nice. Glad to hear about your family, but about the primary, some people are surprised Trump won. I wasn't surprised. He has really tapped into something. A lot of white people are really angry, and they say he speaks for them.
PCMWYALIB: Yes, our polling indicates these are the same people who were upset when President Obama got elected. I don't know what's wrong with them. I'm not angry. I'm with the white people who aren't angry.
TS: What about Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio claiming a win when they actually didn't win.
PCMWYALIB: Those are smart moves since they probably won't actually win anything. It's a new Republican strategy. Just say you won and folks will fall in line. I tried to tell Carly Fiorina that. She would still be in the race if she had taken my phone call.
TS: Let's talk about Dr. Ben Carson? Why is he still in the race?
PCMWYALIB: What else does he have to do at this point? Look, every four years someone tries to represent until they are no longer needed. His name will be added to the list with Alan Keyes and Herman Cain. He won't be alone. Just don't give him my job.
TS: I have to admit I felt sad watching Jeb Bush go. He wasn't afraid to give Trump's rump the business. Jeb stood up with dignity.
PCMWYALIB: While standing up he should've slung hash back. He tried to fight Donald Trump from the moral high ground. Trump understands dirt. He's a brawler. Jeb wasn't a brawler, but don't worry we are not out of the Bushes yet! I read that on Twitter!
TS: So now we're going to see an effort to get Gov. John Kasich to quit the race so Sen. Marco Rubio can take on Trump. Do you think Rubio is up to that challenge? How long can Kasich withstand the pressure? If GOP elders are pushing Rubio to the front, what role does Ted Cruz play? What about this new person on the democratic ballot, Willie Wilson. Have you heard about him? If Secretary Clinton becomes the Democratic nominee, will Americans take the step and elect a woman to head this country? We've only got 30 seconds left.
PCMWYALIB: Marco is young and energetic. I like when he does that robot thing. Kasich is a governor who gives the best hugs. We need those right about now. And ....
TS: I'm sorry but that's all the time we have this week. We appreciate your enlightening views. You're on speed swipe and we'll be calling you. For all of us here at, No One Asks My Opinion, but I'll Say it Anyway we'll see you next week!"