Movie 43 (R) It’s a lucky thing for the stars appearing in the God-awful Movie 43 that crimes against art and humanity aren’t punishable by revocation of your SAG, AFTRA, or Actors’ Equity cards. It is my contention that the movie is called Movie 43 for the simple reason that they knew theater owners would balk at putting the far more apt Utter Crap on their marquees. I was in no way offended by the movie’s puerile “dirty” jokes, its over-fondness for nearly every bodily excretion known to science, or its non-stop efforts at bad taste. No, what I’m offended by is that all these efforts are aimed at an audience the responsible parties seem to think has the mentality of a hormonal 13-year-old boy. I’m more offended by the fact that the damned thing primarily just bored the living Clapton out of me for 90 minutes with its wit-free effluvia. Peter Farrelly somehow managed to hoodwink, bamboozle, hornswoggle, and possibly blackmail such people as Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts, Liev Schreiber, Emma Stone, Anna Faris, Kieran Culkin, Justin Long, Uma Thurman, Kristen Bell, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe GraceMoretz, Richard Gere, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, and more into embarrassing themselves. My guess is that most of the actors — none of whom are promoting this mess — were hoping it would never be released. The best joke is on them — it was released. Just awful.
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