Highlights from City of Charleston police reports

Theft O' The Week:
We were going to go with $2,000 worth of manhole covers and metal grates, but then a women's underwear store reported losing 70 bras and more than 500 pairs of panties. Hey, sex sells ... and is apparently easily stolen.

A student told police his wallet was stolen while he slept through study hall. We would suggest that he go to a mirror and see if the perp drew anything incriminating on his face with a permanent marker.

A man reported receiving threatening video messages, via YouTube. We'll assume he's not talking about "Two Girls, One Cup."

Items Stolen This Week: Six GPS units, three bikes, one bike seat, and two iPods

Threat O' The Week: "You don't know who you're fucking with. You haven't seen this side of me before."

A James Island woman arrested for hit and run and DUI told officers that she'd had two bottles of Pabst Blue Ribbon before cycling class and a drink after. Otherwise known as the South Beach Bum Diet.

Word O' The Week: Assisted. While struggling with a DUI suspect resisting arrest, a police report notes "the weight of both officers assisted (the suspect) to the ground."

In a police report regarding threatening phone calls, the officer noted ever so subtly that the woman suspected of making the calls "is angry the victim is 'talking' to her 'baby daddy.'" You know, we'd just be lost without those quotations.

A woman was trying to get out of a man's car when he said, "I want to taste you." She told him she was on her period and got out of the car. Dude, she's just not that into you.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We've added a cartoon and a little commentary. We've added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.


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