Blotter: The schoolhouse rocks and "I'll have a good night!" 

Highlights from the City of Charleston police reports

A fight between two 12-year-olds got physical after one paid the other $1 for some candy and the other boy ate the candy and refused to return the money. Short a dollar with no sugar rush to show for it, the victim grabbed the other boy's phone and refused to give it back, leading to a scuffle. City police = hall monitors.

After ticketing a 19-year-old for having a fake ID, an officer told the boy to have a good night. The kid made it about 20 feet before yelling, "Fuck yeah, I'll have a good night!" The officer came back and arrested him for disorderly conduct. "Why are you taking me to jail? I am not a fucking rapist or murderer! I'm just a boy." He went on to say, "I apologize for cursing at you, but I am not a fucking rapist or murderer."

A foreign tourist reported her purse was stolen downtown after she accidentally left it in the middle of a parking lot. She did not speak English, and the officer noted that the interpreter didn't speak English very well, either. So, if you see a purse lying along the Battery or in the middle of the Market, understand that it was lost in translation.

Items Stolen This Week: Five bikes, four GPS units, and three iPods, including one ancient, second generation model that hardly counts.

Here's where you erred: "The victim advised that he let an unknown man borrow his white beach cruiser bicycle."

A uniquely downtown problem. A young man waited a week to report his bike stolen because he was convinced that he'd just forgotten where he parked it.

Threat O' The Week: "I'm a fucking gangster! What part don't you understand?!"

A taxi driver was cleared of an accusation that he'd stolen $100 from a passenger. Unfortunately, he had $20 worth of weed in the cab.


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