Blotter: The great wiener caper of 2013 

Or, "Round up the Tater Gang"

Blotter o' the Week: Somebody spray-painted the words "Tater" and "Hoper" all over the side of a bridge. Well, if it isn't the dreaded Tater Gang, baddest spuds this side of Boise.

A grocery store manager confronted a woman who was trying to shoplift $390 worth of groceries in a shopping cart and asked if she had a receipt. The woman replied that her mom had the receipt, and then she ditched the cart and hopped into a passing vehicle.

In the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday, an apparently intoxicated man in a Hawaiian shirt, red shorts, and flip-flops walked into a grocery store with an acquaintance and knocked over a bunch of beer bottles and potted flowers. Parrotheads: Wasting away in Margaritaville since 1977.

When a man came up 10 cents short while buying a gas station hot dog, the cashier told him not to worry about it because he was holding up the line. To show his gratitude, the man returned to the wiener warmer, made himself two additional hot dogs, and then ran out of the store.

Stolen From Vehicles This Week: A phone charger, a keyless entry remote, a tool belt, some screwdrivers, wire strippers, a channel lock, a pair of pliers, a volt tester, and a prescription for Oxycontin.

A man called police after someone broke into his ragtop convertible and stole tools and a prescription from inside. According to the incident report, the man had secured the roof with duct tape. "Upon inspection," the report reads, "the duct tape was loose, and the complainant believed that is how the suspect was able to unlock the vehicle." D'ya think?

While staying at an uncle's apartment for two months, a man allegedly stole some rare coins and an airsoft gun from some of the neighbors. After hearing about the thefts in his apartment building, the uncle noticed all of the stolen items were lying around his living room.

Somebody stole 210 pills' worth of Xanax, Neurontin, Tramadol, and Trazodone from a dresser drawer. Here's hoping the thief read all the contraindications.

Facebook Fail o' the Week: A dogsitter is accused of stealing some clothing and Adderall from a house where she was working. The evidence: A photo on Facebook showing her wearing one of the owner's missing tank tops.

Somebody shoplifted a weed whacker and a bag of fertilizer. Winning yard of the month ain't easy.

When a police officer approached a man who was standing beside his vehicle at a stoplight, the man said, "Oh shit!" and hopped back into the car. The cop noticed a puddle beside the car, and the man admitted he had been peeing on the street.

Cop spellings o' the Week: "The store manager stated that offender through [sic] a bottle at a window,and drove away in a white Dogde [sic] Charger."

Police stopped a man for driving without his headlights at 4 a.m. When the officer looked into the vehicle, he noticed that the man had powder cocaine sprinkled all over his black shirt.

A downtown resident called police to report that "her second-floor exterior window shutter was struck by an orange at some point over the past weekend." The orange was still lodged in the shutter.

Harsh Words o' the Week: A man who was caught in possession of a golf ball-sized quantity of cocaine told his arresting officer, "I hope someone shoots you in the fucking face tonight." The man had six cocaine-related convictions since December 2002.

A man has been arrested numerous times for panhandling at the Morrison Drive exit off of the Ravenel Bridge. When police spotted him last week, he threw down his sign and tried to run away.

Jackass o' the Week: After running from police through Charleston Place, punching a man who tried to stop him, and trying to bite an officer, a man who was suspected of stealing from a downtown office told police he was experiencing chest pains. After he was taken to the hospital, he called the nurse who was attending to him a bitch.


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