Blotter o' the Week: During a wedding in a hotel courtyard, a hotel patron on the second floor waved from his room window to get the wedding party's attention and then rubbed his butt and genitals against the window.
A car shopper fell for a Craigslist scam and wired $1,500 to someone in Illinois who was allegedly going to sell her a Volkswagen Passat. The car has yet to arrive.
While paying for gas at the counter, a convenience store customer reached over the counter toward an employee who was putting cash in the safe and said something to the effect of, "See how far I can reach?" The employee was not impressed.
Someone stole a computer from a hotel and tried to pawn it. When an employee at the pawnshop turned the computer on and saw the hotel logo on the screen, the would-be PC pawner got out of there pronto.
Weapon o' the Week: A slice of pizza.
When police arrived to question a man who got in a bar fight, he tried to play air guitar using his cell phone, fell over in a parking lot, and then said he needed to go home and feed his dogs. After being arrested on a charge of public intoxication, the man told police he had been taking various prescription medications while drinking heavily "because of the Clemson game."
Stolen From Vehicles This Week: An iPod, two pairs of sunglasses, a wallet, a shotgun sling, a cell phone, and a suit jacket.
After being arrested on a charge of public intoxication, a man turned around and spat in a police officer's face.
A driver who got pulled over for rolling a stop sign was also riding with an open 24-oz. can of Bud Ice and a strawberry daiquiri. At least she wasn't ridin' dirty martini.
A man tried to shoplift a boat motor and a gazebo by putting them in a shopping cart and walking out the door. When a loss prevention officer stopped him, the man said he needed the items to make money.
A shift supervisor at a pharmacy stole $541.83 from the cash register by issuing refunds on nonexistent returns and pocketing the money. By her own admission, she pulled the trick 16 times over the course of about a month.
A minor from Florida used a fake Connecticut driver's license to buy beer. Good luck using that Connecticut Fakie in King Street's Court.
Panhandling Alibi o' the Week: "I wanted to tell her a joke."
A man who was issued a citation for peddling without a permit told police, "I had a hamburger on layaway. I guess I can't get it out now."
Crystal Meth Hiding Place o' the Week: Inside a cigarette box.
Somebody shoplifted a package of shrimp tempura rolls, two packages of bacon, a small tub of sour cream, a jar of queso salsa, and a package of shredded cheese from a grocery store. Five-layer chip dip, anyone?
A woman called police after she stepped on her own dog's tail and it bit her hand. Animal Control refused to take possession of the dog because it was a family pet.
Weapon Matchup o' the Week: Bicycle tire vs. walking cane.