Blotter: Crust in the nick of time 

This is an adult conversation

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Steve Stegelin

Blotter o' the Week: A pizza delivery man was handing off a fresh pie when he realized that someone had stolen his vehicle. The thief escaped crust in time to avoid being spotted, taking off with olive the dough in the car.

Giving new meaning to the idea of the sharing economy, a woman noticed several pieces of makeup missing from her home after she allowed her female Uber driver to use her bathroom. This is not the first time an Uber driver has been accused of stealing, but usually they just refer to it as "surge pricing."

A mysterious Prada handbag was found in a public park. The purse contained a dozen .38 Special rounds, a lock, and multiple rocks, according to an incident report.

An officer noticing a peculiar smell in the air during a routine traffic stop asked a driver and his two passengers if they had been smoking marijuana. According to an incident report, the driver responded by saying, "Nobody should have marijuana. I don't let people smoke in my truck." Turns out, he should have mentioned this to his passengers who were both found to be in possession of weed.

An intoxicated man displayed some fancy footwork when he stumbled out of a downtown bar and fell directly into the side of a parked police car.

After consuming between 10 to 12 beers, one man greeted responding officers by throwing a table in their general direction.

One man checked himself out of a hospital only to leave behind all of his belongings. Among the abandoned items discovered by hospital staff was a denture case filled with a green, leafy substance believed to be marijuana, according to an incident report.

After changing hotel rooms, one woman noticed that she was missing a platinum diamond ring valued at approximately $25,000, which for many people is like misplacing a year's salary.

An officer was letting his K-9 partner take a break in a local park when his four-legged friend picked up the scent of illegal drugs. According to an incident report, the hound was able to follow his nose all the way to a half-finished blunt that someone had recently left behind.

Police responded to reports of a suspicious vehicle that had been idling in a parking lot for four hours late one evening. Upon questioning, the couple inside the car told officers that they were having an "adult conversation," according to an incident report. A quick search of their records revealed the man in the car had an outstanding warrant, and he was taken into custody.

A woman entered into a store and asked to purchase 20 individual packs of cigarettes. After asking the cashier if she could pay for the cigarettes in groups of five, the woman's credit card was declined. The woman then reached into her purse to grab another credit card at which time the cashier became suspicious after noticing the woman's wallet was stuffed with additional credit cards. The cashier then asked the woman for ID, which proved to be enough to cause her to flee the scene.

Officers discovered an intoxicated man lying on the ground next to his toppled moped. The man told officers that he had been struck by a speeding car, but a nearby eyewitness said he watched as the man started his moped, attempted to turn around, and immediately fell over.

A woman reported missing from her Florida home appeared at a Charleston gas station, asking for a mechanic. After she was informed that there was no mechanic at the store, the woman walked away, only to immediately return and once again request a mechanic. When asked where she thought she was, the woman first guessed "somewhere in Georgia" before changing her answer to North Carolina.

A couple awoke one morning to find that someone had spray painted the word "bitch" on both the driver- and passenger-side doors of their vehicle. The couple could not think of any aspiring artists who held a grudge against them.

A driver was receiving a ticket for driving with a suspended license when the owner of the vehicle arrived on scene to deliver the proof of ownership and insurance for the vehicle. The owner then told the officer that he knows the law, adding, "I own a business. I know what a car needs in it," according to an incident report.

A mail carrier was making her deliveries when she discovered a loaded handgun tucked inside someone's mail box at an apartment complex.


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