Directed by visual filmmaker Timur Bekmambetov (Wanted), the movie version of this novel introduces us to a side of our 16th president heretofore unseen. We are shown a young Lincoln (played by Broadway star Benjamin Walker), still grieving the death of his beloved mother at the hands of a vampire. After fortifying his nerves with whiskey, he locates the monster (Marton Czokas), only to find himself inches from death were it not for the help from a stranger (Dominic Cooper). It seems that the country is overrun with the creatures, living in the Southern states and using the slave market as a form of sustainable crop. Accepting the job offer, Lincoln is sent to Springfield, Ill., to rid the city of its evil. Shortly after unpacking, he meets a young Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), and woos her away from Stephen Douglas (Alan Tudyk). When not busy killing vampires, Lincoln finds himself making impassioned speeches against slavery in the city square. It’s not long that he is wooed into entering politics. The resident Lord of the Vampires, Adam (Rufus Sewell), doesn’t take too kindly and uses the Civil War as his opportunity to turn the United States into a nation ruled by vampires. If all of this sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is. While Bekmambetov isn’t quite the villain that John Wilkes Booth proved to be, the director is responsible for the travesty he has delivered to us, and finds himself with a smoking gun of a terrible film in his hands.
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Four Bore and Seven Years Ago