Holly Cox 
Member since Sep 6, 2013


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Re: “The Capobiancos should stop fighting for custody of Baby Veronica

A beautiful and bold piece.

I have yet to find anyone who can justify the removal of a healthy, thriving four year old child from her fit home without resorting to ad-hominem, straw-men or other poor debate tactics. I have seen them try to justify it with half-baked lies; that Dusten must have PTSD and be abusive which is why Christy left him, that he doesn't deserve Veronica because of the way Robin dressed for court, that his family is 'druggies' because of something his brother did which is apparently now his fault according to them. When all else fails they trot Christy out for an appeal to emotion.

I have a difficult time feeling sympathy for the Capobianco's because they have had so many opportunities to do the right thing, to minimize the risk of psychological harm to Veronica, to put her needs first. They have not done that. In fact they have gone far beyond even wanting to see this adoption through and formed an entire group devoted to ruining ICWA for *everyone* on top of countless racist jibes minimizing her ethnic heritage and right to that heritage while claiming they can raise her in her culture just fine. They have escalated this to points where it has become dangerous to Veronica and others involved; a brick from their supporters was put through the Brown's home window of the older sister's bedroom, they have demanded the [mis]use of the Amber Alert system, they have demanded the resources of the FBI, they have pulled strings to have SLED come in, they have had him arrested twice now. None of this was necessary as there has never been one iota of a second in which it was found that living with Dusten was dangerous for Veronica or that he was in any way abusive towards her but they continued to press that this was a national crisis and that Veronica was in complete jeopardy and needed an Elian Gonzales-esque removal ASAP. Their actions have created the danger to Veronica, not Dusten.

At no time have they stopped to consider what all of this will do to Veronica in the long run. They truly seem to believe that a few cookies and a favored blankie from Dusten's house and their love will somehow make all of these actions alright. Never once have they seemed to stop and considered that one day Veronica will make her *own* decisions about her adoption and she will know and their sugar-coated words about "We loved you first.." become very shallow and empty when you find out how aggressive, unfair and racist your adoptive parents were towards your natural parent(s) and culture. Attacks against the other parent have been proven time and time again to dramatically affect the child's self-esteem. They know they are part of the parent and thus an insult or attack against Dusten will be seen by Veronica as an attack against herself and her self-image will suffer for it. This is why every single divorce lawyer or counselor reminds parents not to badmouth the other parent in front of the children.

We cannot undo the past. We can only learn from it and remember that "two wrongs do not make a right"

Veronica's early life has been messed with enough. Let her be a child in peace already. She is in preschool and does not need to be bounced back to even some imaginary scoreboard of 'possession'. She does not deserve it.

42 of 45 people like this.
Posted by Holly Cox on September 6, 2013 at 4:03 AM
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