@Concerned: Thank you -- yes, I know all this. I have dealt with my husband separately and privately. I would not deal with him here, in this column. I think many people have forgotten the purpose of this column. I'm not so stupid as to think that it was all her fault. But I cannot speak to her directly, so I did it via the Love/Hate column.
Jen, do you think I don't know these things? I'm not an effing idiot. First of all, you're quoting things I didn't say. Second of all, you missed the point entirely.
Now please tell me exactly HOW I am supposed to "let go of the hate" towards her??? It's not that easy, especially when she's not the least bit sorry.
For godssakes, let me vent my hatred in the Love/Hate column without coming down on ME for being angry with HER.
PaulW, have you ever been in this situation? I appreciate the respectful comment because it sounds like it comes from genuine concern -- but it has not been quite 2 years yet, and any knowledgeable counselor will tell you that the typical "recovery time" after an affair is *at least* 2 years. This is a HUGE thing to get over, and it would be helpful if the other woman bore some of the brunt or at least helped the situation afterward by acknowledging her role and apologizing. But as I said, she apparently has no conscience whatsoever.
Seriously, you have nothing more important to worry about than other people's toenails and earwax? Get a life.
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