Quiet streets!?! Anything but! The tourists, the clippety clop of horse hooves, the street music, the traffic... and the church bells...
Let's outlaw church bells. I find them annoying and intrusive as hell. Have a citizen crank up his electric guitar and play Mozart for two minutes every hour instead.
And that sickening Spoleto! Hordes of rude art lovers invading our beautiful town. Speaking their gibberish foreign languages. Littering the streets with "art" and "music." It's intolerable!
Outlaw the stench of horse dung.
And outlaw these Christian rallies they have every Sunday... blocking up the streets, filling the restaurants afterwards, all dressed in their "Sunday go to meetin" costumes, cranking out obnoxious organ music and chanting hymns. Fouling the community with propaganda books and pamphlets. Even knocking on your door and trying to invade your home. They are creepy and disturbing. A nuisance to our community.
Randomly choose one churchgoer from First Presbyterian and one biker cruising Calhoun Street. Expose the skeletons in their closets. And, then determine who has the most integrity. (Hint: The biker’s closet door is left wide open. The Presbyterian's closet door has been hidden behind dry wall and is secured with a dozen dead bolts.)
I am offended by the strong smell of sewage down town after a hard rain. The obvious solution is to prohibit restrooms below Calhoun.
Or, we could impose fines on individuals, like Mr. Murdock, who create excessive amounts of excrement.
If people pollute by throwing their City Papers and milk cartons on the street, should we prohibit news papers and milk drinking below Calhoun?
I am offended by the sound of loud bells being rung every hour, day and night. Shouldn't we prohibit churchs below Calhoun?
Wow, what a disturbing article! Change the words "biker, Harley rider and motorcyclist" in this article to "Jew, nigger or wet back" and it will help readers better understand Mr. Murdock's mentality.
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