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Comment Archives: Stories: News+Opinion: Guest Columnist

Re: “How my mother's illness made me a healthier ally

Hi Ms. Parks,
Like your mother, my father was diagnosed with Waldenstrom's around the same time; another one in a million. My father, like your mother, always seemed invinsible to me. An airframe and powerplant mechanic, my dad can fix nearly everything. If he needs a special tool, he will often manufacture his own to get the job done. He recently finished chemo and radiation therapy and continues to lead a normal life in his mid 70's. He walks miles each day. 4 years ago my best friend was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. He survived less than two years. I think of him every day. In August of last year I had a mild side ache that wouldn't go away. Just months earlier at age 50, my yearly exam numbers were perfect. I was a healthy guy. One CT scan later that day revealed a baseball sized tumor in my kidney, a week later my kidney was removed. I was diagnosed with clear cell renal carcinoma. Last week a thumbnail sized portion of my left lung was removed as a nodule was present and growing. I'm happy to say I'm now NED. I have everything to live for. I feel great. I'm blessed to have a lot of people who care about me, my medical team, family, and friends, some of which have experienced what I am currently going through and many who haven't, which is okay, even if they share a story of someone who has made it or someone who hasn't. I listen and thank them for sharing. They want to be closer to me and I let them. I answer their questions and ease their curiosity. I try to bring them happiness and show them that I appreciate their company. I owe that to them for the time we share. What your friends are trying to offer to you is hope, that's really their message, even if hidden in their words that put you in a place you would rather not be. Hope is a powerful feeling that can cut right through feelings of guilt and fear. Hope fills the heart and makes everything okay.

0 of 1 people like this.
Posted by RavenCoho on April 16, 2017 at 12:12 AM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

It has been a non-issue since the beginning of public facilities. BTW, transsexuals are trans-gendered that have completed sexual reassignment surgery. Caitlyn Jenner is both trans-gendered and, now, transsexual since she has had the surgery to transform the penis into a vagina. And I think the biggest impediment to respect is misinformation and some folks who are picturing cross-dresser entertainers (Drag Queens) who have nothing to do with being trans-gender. They get paid to dress ridiculously in private establishments where they use the entertainer's facilities safe from the "impressionable" children. Drag Queens can be GBT or Q underneath and is not an indicator of trans-genderism.

And with HB2 in place, the requirement of having a penis to go into the men's room or a vagina to go into the women's room will have a person who looks like a girl, entering the men's room or a person who looks like a boy, entering the ladies room. I see more chance of getting "beaten or gang raped" if you look like the opposite gender entering the other's restrooms than if you look like the person who belongs in that restroom.

5 of 8 people like this.
Posted by tupper29406 on April 13, 2017 at 8:24 AM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

Please tell us how to live our lives Ron

2 of 3 people like this.
Posted by Randall Floyd on April 13, 2017 at 8:23 AM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

"No one ever thinks these things though. And everyone is so quick to judge if one has a different point of view."

This much irony should be illegal.

4 of 9 people like this.
Posted by Ron Liberte on April 12, 2017 at 9:38 PM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

wait until the first 'female' gets beaten or gang raped in a boys bathroom. ya'll will change your opinion. people are animals. it's a matter of time.

4 of 6 people like this.
Posted by rukiddingme on April 12, 2017 at 7:23 PM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

Lots of soft bigotry in this article and comment section. Where are the non bigotted residents of North Carolina? Do such people exist?

The law was political gimmick that has hurt many trans people around America. Trans people in North Carolina are still afraid when in public.

The nation now knows that North Carolina is a bigot.

4 of 8 people like this.
Posted by Octavia Reising on April 12, 2017 at 6:19 PM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

There has to be common sense and all of this has gotten out of hand. We are talking about less than 1% of the population. Yes, it happens that a boy feels trapped in a girls body or a girl feels trapped in a boys body. It does happen. But do the 99% of the rest of the population have to conform to the 1%? I am sure that transgenders ( when I was growing up we called them , transsexuals) used the ladies room. A bit harder for a female trying to be a man. I guess, he uses a stall.

It's not about the bathroom. That's easy. It's The locker room and if there are showers and the kids are under 18. It's hard enough for heterosexuals going through puberty. Now they have to see a girl with a penis? Or a boy, with a vagina? And starting to grow breasts? Granted, they are starting to give hormones to transgender kids at 11 now. And that is a whole other controversy. But still, they hv the genitals. It's hard on both parties. Once they are over 18, it's a different story. There is a transsexual man on Harvards men's swimming team. Seems the guys r fine with it. She basically looks like a guy. Is a guy.
But for young kids, it's a different story.

No one ever thinks these things though. And everyone is so quick to judge if one has a different point of view.

4 of 9 people like this.
Posted by lynnar on April 12, 2017 at 5:24 PM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

Making America great, One deviant bunch at a time.

Sad.

5 of 18 people like this.
Posted by Jshicke on April 12, 2017 at 10:43 AM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

Fairly informative and practical article, but "choose their gender"? No, it's not a choice, it's who they ARE. A boy "trapped" in a girls body or vice versa and is completely unrelated to sexuality, which is independent of anyone's gender (innate or perceived). And no one goes to the YMCA to troll for sex in the showers, though public accessible showers should all have private stalls and not be communal. Has anyone heard a word about trans-gendered (not cross-dressers as Oklahoma Speaker, Charles McCall and a LOT of the uninformed, think they are, apparently) trolling bathrooms? No, unlike some our nation's congressmen, who have been caught red - er - handed (or footed)!

10 of 15 people like this.
Posted by tupper29406 on April 12, 2017 at 8:43 AM

Re: “Avoiding the transgender mistakes of the Queen City

Did you know that 10% of all college women will be raped? Or that 20% will suffer from persistent unwanted sexual advances? Or that in 2015 there were 26,000 reported rapes in the US armed forces. 14,000 of these were men raping men? The problem seems to be with hetero males. So lets ban them from all public facilities. Makes as much sense as your saying males will pretend to be trans to enter a woman's restroom. Since 80-90% of child victims know their abuser the problem is not in restrooms. It is in the home, sports facility, pulpit (google clergy sexual abuse). But let's ignore all this and instead focus on a non-existent problem. One created to keep us in the closet.

22 of 28 people like this.
Posted by Lee Anne on April 12, 2017 at 6:11 AM

Re: “How my mother's illness made me a healthier ally

Terrific!

0 of 1 people like this.
Posted by JAVSimson on April 10, 2017 at 1:59 PM

Re: “NIH cuts make me sick

They have theirs and are not worried about anyone else. They have the money to travel wherever they need and see whatever specialists they need to treat themselves, but to hell with those that depend on others for the same treatment. I am utterly disgusted with trump's lack of caring, among other things, of course. What these 'greedy old people' don't get is that this research may cure them one day by some, otherwise untested and un-researched, treatment for their conditions - morbid or otherwise. Their own lives are in the balance but they don't think beyond the end of their noses or bank accounts.

16 of 20 people like this.
Posted by tupper29406 on March 30, 2017 at 7:08 AM

Re: “Bipartisan 'disturbing schools' legislation passes an important procedural hurdle

Sadly the schools we attended and the behavior of the kids in the schools has greatly deteriorated since we were there Mr. Green.

Today, school administrators stand to be sued if they don't take action if one student bullies another. Of course, this isn't an issue with parents who actually parent their children and not make excuses for their kid's actions.

Trial lawyers have made a fortune by suing school districts for either enforcing the rules or not enforcing the rules.

1 of 2 people like this.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on March 27, 2017 at 11:49 AM

Re: “Bipartisan 'disturbing schools' legislation passes an important procedural hurdle

I was bullied mercilessly in my class, in Prague, from 6th grade to 9th, when we escaped to Austria. I was being assaulted, slandered, ridiculed, by most of the boys in my class. It was hell, I was sometimes suicidal. They were criminals, they deserved to rot in prison. But we students had a no tattling policy, so the teachers did not know. The boys were all of them white. But they were vicious criminals.

0 of 1 people like this.
Posted by Tom Martin on March 25, 2017 at 4:00 PM

Re: “When Charleston County Council codes of conduct act as chains

I was at that meeting. Elliott Summey ate crow and Henry Darby had a meltdown.

The people who got up to speak were genuinely pissed off. Darby and Summey were required to be at that meeting. Those speakers weren't. They were citizens who felt strongly enough about the issues (especially Summey's comments about Anna Johnson) to get up off the couch after a long day of work and come out to tell the council how they felt. They (the speakers) were not professional politicians. They were mostly ordinary people who spoke from the heart.

Vic Rawls should understand by now that : 1. Sometimes your boss yells at you. That's a good time to listen. and 2. Real democracy is noisy. And messy. If he doesn't get this maybe he belongs in another place ... perhaps in the 19th century.

4 of 4 people like this.
Posted by MelvintheBarbarian on March 17, 2017 at 3:22 PM

Re: “When Charleston County Council codes of conduct act as chains

Jessie, don't always agree with your political point of view but I would have to agree with your premise here, there is a time for everything. I've sat on many meetings where most of the people present knew exactly what was afoot and completely disapproved, but did nothing because they were afraid to take the heat from certain 'nice' power players. Civility and common courtesy in public discourse are important, there is something to be said for the southerner's way of calling someone a jackass without using that word, or being a jackass in the process, Mr. Summy however has certainly failed in that regard. We've all known since our days in junior high that civility and common courtesy can be handy tools for intimidation and manipulation. Interesting article, thanks.

1 of 2 people like this.
Posted by Allen Bergstrazer on March 17, 2017 at 10:21 AM

Re: “When Charleston County Council codes of conduct act as chains

You are my best friend in the head too!

1 of 1 people like this.
Posted by puppylove on March 17, 2017 at 9:02 AM

Re: “When Charleston County Council codes of conduct act as chains

Great article A++++ You nailed Hicks and his snarky hypocrisy perfectly, as well as the soap opera going on at Charleston County Council.

3 of 5 people like this.
Posted by RASPUTIY on March 16, 2017 at 11:18 PM

Re: “When Charleston County Council codes of conduct act as chains

Salidude, laughing at the rubes is all well and good but the problem with living in a society is the strife these people inflict upon themselves ends up destroying everything around them as well. It's collateral damage we cannot afford.

Believe me, I do smirk at the thought of people who voted for Trump not realizing they are going to lose their healthcare and are not getting their coal mining jobs back, but their misery does not exist in a vacuum. Fear won the last election, and it's affecting all of us.

2 of 5 people like this.
Posted by Ron Liberte on March 16, 2017 at 1:30 PM

Re: “Evolving Southern culture beyond the Stars and Bars

"You do know slaves were held in the north as well? Or that free men of color also owned slaves"

What's your point? Does that make it okay? Why aren't the descendants of those Yankees and "free men of color" constantly yammering on about their heritage then?

1 of 3 people like this.
Posted by Ron Liberte on March 16, 2017 at 1:22 PM
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