The Capobiancos never adopted Veronica, therefore they are not her adoptive parents.
Furthermore, all this started because Veronica's mother arbitrarily decided to dump V's father. They were engaged, she would have been a military wife and she had health coverage and other benefits plus control of his paycheck in her future once she had married him. No one that I am aware of has said why she broke up with him; I can only guess she met a new guy and wanted to be totally shut of Dusten Brown.
For his part, Dusten Brown was obviously confused as to the difference between child custody and parental rights. Which says nothing about his intelligence or anything else; LOTS of people do not know the difference between the two. Additionally, he did not have legal representation when he signed what he thought was a relinquishment of CUSTODY. As far as I know there is no right to a lawyer inherent in any family court matter. Losing your children is more permanent and damaging than going to jail for six months; yet if you face going to jail for six months, you have an automatic right to a lawyer, and if you can't afford one, one will be provided for you.
Why do we allow murderers and rapists a free lawyer, but an Army soldier being stabbed in the back and losing his daughter forever has no right to one? Yes, there's JAG (for those of you who are familiar with the military), but they don't address family-court situations either. They serve in a UCMJ capacity only.
When are we going to talk about serious reform of adoption and the family-court system in general, rather than cheering on this destruction of families all over the United States in the name of making infertile people happy? It's not our jobs to make infertile people happy. They are all grown up and they can take responsibility for that themselves, and NOT by stealing children by false pretense or by bribing pregnant women or any other ridiculous means. No one can get everything they want in life. Mature people learn how to cope with that fact. If this couple do not have that level of maturity then certainly they've got no business raising a child. And they've had the easy part already. Babies may keep you up all night when young or sick but you will never have it that easy again once they get old enough to get into things and get themselves into trouble. So the Capobiancos haven't really been tested yet. But with their behavior thus far I think it's a pretty fair bet that they are going to cause Veronica some serious issues in the long run. Not a fate anyone should wish for her. She has her father, even if her mother has abandoned her. Leave her to it.
Shoddy attorney work at the beginning? Wow, ya think? All the way around. No compassion card can be played there - that's their jobs.
Dusten Brown's JAG attorney clearly didn't uphold his interests. Like filing for adoption of his own child himself, who would know to do that?! That's why we pay lawyers big bucks, right?
But this could have all been avoided. All of the parties involved (including 32 attorneys) need to learn a lesson about honesty and not getting caught up in deceit and strategic legal maneuvering.
- Christinna Maldonado should take responsibility for her own fertility (this is her third unplanned/unwanted pregnancy) and stop messing with the men she makes babies with (she testified in court that she used the same tactic - hiding out and avoiding - with her other children's fathers to keep them from contacting her).
She should also consider why she can be intimate with a man, pledge herself in marriage, trust a guy to be around her existing children, but she doesn't want him to have a baby she doesn't want? That she believes she's doing the "best thing" to pick random strangers out of an adoption broker's files instead of giving the baby to her own father? That's not a heroic caring mother, that's some serious dysfunctional controlling behavior.
- We'll let the Capobiancos put all the blame for game-playing and legal manipulations on their attorneys. 'Cause they are super nice people and well, she's a psychologist, after all. We'll assume they didn't really mean to cheat, but just went along with lawyers' advice. Sure. It wasn't really their idea to delay notifying a biological father of adoption proceedings. Funny how they were so well-prepared and had all the ducks in a row, and filed adoption proceedings in South Carolina three days after the birth while they were still IN Oklahoma, but oops, they forgot to serve Dad the papers until four months later. This couple testified in court that they had prepared for the birth mother to change her mind, but not that Dusten would object. They had been assured that he had no interest.
They didn't think they _had_ to get his permission, did they? Funny how it turns out to be _six months_ from when they entered into contract with Christy for this baby and she signed away her parental rights. It's possible THEY coached her to cease communication with the father. I wonder if they thought that would meet the South Carolina court's six-month criteria for abandonment.
But somebody needs to answer this -
When this father was first notified of the pending adoption of his child by process server, and responded by filing proper and reasonable objection in South Carolina and petition for custody in Oklahoma, exactly how was that wrong of him?
When the Capobiancos were denied their adoption petition, why did they keep a 4-month-old newborn baby who ceased to be an adoption candidate because one parent wanted her? Why did they do that?
They made no attempt to work it out, contact the father personally, return the baby, something, at what I believe to be a critical defining moment that precipitated everything that followed. Instead, their response was to up the ante and hammer away in the legal system. What's the rationale? Did a lawyer reassure them that this guy would cave, given enough pressure?
No doubt there was huge love and affection already, but there's no developed attachment and bond with a newborn.
It's very clear that the Capobiancos themselves made the judgement call that Dusten Brown would be an inferior parent and disenfranchised him, usurped the existing parent-child relationship at that point in time. That was the moment of truth.
And poor unwed mother Christy. All alone in the delivery room with no one except strangers she met the month before. Where is her mother? She has a large extended family of multiple generations. Where are they? She has sisters. But she has no one? Why? Who takes care of her children? Do they have a relationship with their fathers, or is it a problem? Who takes care of the children at night?
I think the attorneys and the media have been very kind not to mount full-scale character assassination on her.
At the end of the day, if Maldonado wanted to exclude Dusten Brown, all she needed to do was simply not identify him. That would have been her easy option to getting around the law. So why didn't she take that shortcut? She created all this drama. Why? There's one simple reason I can think of - welfare. When people apply for public assistance, it's the law that they must name the other parent. Case workers dig deep. They check associations, question landlords, ask neighbors. If there's a dating relationship, they require paternity testing for eligibility.
Veronica was never adopted by Matt and Melanie Capobianco. The article is incorrect. Due to the father's objection to the adoption, the adoption was never finalized. Accuracy in reporting is important.
concernedmom - get your head out your ass. The biological father pulled the child away from the only parents the child ever knew. The parent there when she was born, not that biological father. He didn't want anything to do with the child. Make no mistake, he only "cared" when others got involved and pushed him to save his indian child. lol, pardon me while I wet myself laughing. Sadly this is not a funny story and the one being hurt is the child. The government takes children away from biological parents daily.. Why? For the best interests of the child. Two loving parents are far far better for any child than a father that never had any interest in the child. Anyone that can't see what's best for this little girl, which is being in her adopted home, needs their head examined.
I am appalled at the behavior of the Capobiancos and their attorneys. There is a huge difference between giving up your parental rights and giving sole custody to another parent. Why in their right mind would anyone want to take a child away from their biological parent (s)?
Dustin Brown, by his own admission, is 2% Cherokee Indian. This is hardly an Indian family.
I've thought of you often, and miss your fun quirkiness. Best of luck in all your future endeavors!!! <3
My boyfriend and I are both reenactors, I'm going on 15 years, he's going on 3, we actually have yet to do an event in the same camp as I do a lower class working civilian impression and he is in a Confederate infantry unit. It can be quite the new world to get into as long as you have the right attitude! It definitely makes history more interesting. Even if you're not into the big skirts and bonnets there are nearly endless options (sometimes I'm a laundress or seamstress, sometimes a Postmaster- yes, women could be appointed to that position- sometimes I'm in a plain working outfit, others in a more middle class basic ensemble... and I make my own stuff, you find something from the era that you are good at or interested in, do your homework, and run with it)
Often we have stories to share and laugh about and that's really the best part. The memories and fun times, as well as the learning from each other, as he's more in the military side of things (even though I portrayed a female soldier for 8 years, disguised as a guy, since women weren't allowed to openly enlist yet) And I'm the one with the sewing expertise he needs to learn for his own stuff.
Best of luck to you, and hope you guys have as much fun with it as we do :)
Good article. Extremely well written (love good prose) Growing up in the NW, which is a "kid" historically compared to the South (Chas. had opera when there were but tumbleweeds in present-day Albuquerque), you cant possibly understand our passion for history and our ancestors. Well, maybe you do now understand a little.
Me, Ive been a member of both the DAR and United Daugthers of the Confederacy a while now, but have only been to one re-enactment near Hampton! Need to go to more to get a sense of what my six CW ancestors went thru. I recommend touring Petersburg, Va where one ancestor fought. I defy you to listen to the free tourguide and not cry as he/she gives details of the Battle of the Crater.
I too married a reinactor 9 years ago. Unlike my family of which every single branch fought for the South in the Civil War, my husband's mother was from Switzerland and his Italian dad was the first to be born in the U.S. in his family. He is friends with your husband and he too is a hard core. I must confess, even growing up in the deep South near Andersonville, Ga, I didn't "get" reinactors but have come to appreciate the love of history they the hard cores have!
LOVE this article! I need to find a man like this. I broke off a 2 year engagement because he started to mock this hobby I love with all my life. I just wanted him to share it with me, but his response was always "Its not my history, why should I?". Needless to say, we had other issues. However Ive been single for a few years since because Im waiting for Mr. Right and his musket to come along and sweep me off my feet.
I belong to an English C17th re-enactment group with my husband and all my 3 daughters grew up in it. Over the years we have met some amazing people who have become very close friends to us. All our girls have benefitted from this hobby and only the oldest one is no longer taking part. I would encourage anyone to give it a go
I have to admit I did not have time to read the entire article, have saved the link. Being a reenactor/living historian in California, I giggled that it's a secret. I didn't know it was a secret. I tell everyone I'm a reenactor/living historian. I recreate 1550 Elizabethan, the 2nd half on the 1800's into 1910. You will have the most wonderful adventures being married to a reenactor/living historian. Please do get involved, my other half and my daughter are also reenactors/living historian's. I love when kids come from schools with a list of questions to have answered. I've gone to classes in 1st person to help the children understand the reality of history. One of the teachers had the class answer a quick essay question about how they felt about my visit and did they like that type of learning. She later told me the kids LOVED having someone to talk to and see history.
Hey! Nice picture of Taylor Shelby (my girlfriend.) Keagle has more old timey clothes than me (but not by much.) Small world. Say hi to Dan.
I have been with my boyfriend for two years and he is a reenactor also. I am slowly getting into it myself. He does WWII, Roman and Medivieal. I couldn't ask for a better man. Congrats on your upcoming wedding your life will be full of adventure, and great people.
Wow I loved this article when I met my current partner he confessed his rather strange hobby, now ten years later I am more into it than him, the sewing machine never stops. I love creating the clothese of various periods for my tribe, I have a social life and there is always something to do be it Medieval Napoleonic or American Mountain Men.
Why be ashamed of being a reenactor? I'm completely open about my "weekend life", as I call it, and am delighted to answer questions from family, friends, and random acquaintances. In fact, that's how many of my friends became reenactors. :-)
Let's be truthful for a second, shall we? I've been in the hobby for over 30 years now, all union, all the time. The "hardcores" are usually the ones who bug out first in bad weather, and they're usually the object of ridicule to those of us who are mainstream-Progressive (not completely nuts with an eye on better authenticity within reason). Elias Howe patented the sewing machine that we use in 1845. The War Department had contracts with MANY textile houses during the war to mass produce the uniforms (shirt, socks, shoes, coat, pants, suspenders hat, frock [the pre-1862 fatigue coat relegated to dress purposes after McClellan's reorganization] and great coat for the winter which were ISSUED to men. These items weren't made at home and shipped to guys in the field. There are quartermaster reports which show this. The State of North Carolina had so many uniforms in storage that they were putting them on German POW's in the 1940's. This is a truth the Hard Core kids seem to want to ignore in their quest for "authenticity."
Contrary to what PVT Granola says, hard core is what you do when you don't have any interest in portraying actual history but want to play bang bang. We've seen your types: lousy drill, lousy uniforms and lousy attitudes towards the rest of us with an unjustified sense of self worth in the hobby.
I married a reenactor (Herb), and our vacations and trips usually involve a fort of some kind. I tried getting into the hobby, but it just wasn't for me. That being said, I've met some of the best people through that hobby, and they are wonderful people to know even if you don't reenact with them. I enjoyed your article, and it's pretty spot on. Thanks for putting it in to words.
Welcome to the club Sweetie
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