Haire of the Dog

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• flickr.com/carolinastarx
• Gov. Nikki Haley

The Post and Courier just dropped a doozy of a story: Gov. Nikki Haley has appointed an alleged member of a white supremacist organization to her campaign. The man in question: Roan Garcia-Quintana. The group: the Council of Conservative Citizens.

The P&C reports:

Gov. Nikki Haley is under attack from the National Jewish Democratic Council because one of her campaign co-chairs has ties to a hate group.

Haley appointed a tea party activist named Roan Garcia-Quintana of Greenville as one of her 164 campaign co-chairs.

The Southern Poverty Law Center issued a recent report noting Garcia-Quintana is a member of the Council of Conservative Citizens. National Jewish Democratic Council executive director Aaron Keyak said the council has links to anti-Semitism.

Now, how did Tim Pearson, Haley's one-time chief of staff and current campaign manager, respond. Did he say that Garcia-Quintana had been given the boot? Did he apologize to the National Jewish Democratic Council, the NAACP, and, well, anybody who hates racist assholes? Did he admit that the Haley campaign had unwittingly appointed an alleged member of a hate group to the team? Nope. Pearson did what those in the Haley camp always do: He pointed the finger at someone else.

The P&C reports:

Asked about the National Jewish Democratic Council’s criticism, Haley campaign manager Tim Pearson said it “is clearly ginned up by some outside group.”

Well, Tim, this is more than a controversy ginned up by some outside group. It's a real fucking controversy. See, if the Council of Conservative Citizens had their way, Nikki Haley wouldn't be living in the United States, much less in the South Carolina governor's mansion.

According to the CofC's Statement of Principles, written by former Washington Times columnist and racist Sam Francis:

We believe the United States is a European country and that Americans are part of the European people. We believe that the United States derives from and is an integral part of European civilization and the European people and that the American people and government should remain European in their composition and character. We therefore oppose the massive immigration of non-European and non-Western peoples into the United States that threatens to transform our nation into a non-European majority in our lifetime. We believe that illegal immigration must be stopped, if necessary by military force and placing troops on our national borders; that illegal aliens must be returned to their own countries; and that legal immigration must be severely restricted or halted through appropriate changes in our laws and policies. We also oppose all efforts to mix the races of mankind, to promote non-white races over the European-American people through so-called “affirmative action” and similar measures, to destroy or denigrate the European-American heritage, including the heritage of the Southern people, and to force the integration of the races.

Yeah, there's nothing to see here, but Tim Pearson and the Haley campaign trying to wipe egg off their faces.

Oh, and one more thing. S.C. Democratic Party chair Dick Harpootlian is a douchebag too. Seriously, Dems. Do you really want a guy who says that Nikki Haley should go “to wherever the hell she came from” as your leader? It's about time you gave this intolerant, homophobic asshole the boot.

Update: The Southern Poverty Law Center first broke this story two days ago. Here's what they have to say:

In anticipation of her 2014 re-election campaign, the Tea Party darling [Nikki Haley] has put together a 164-member steering committee comprising folks from all 46 of her state’s counties. And on that list is one “Republican leader” and Tea Party activist named Roan Garcia-Quintana of Greenville.

The name won’t ring many bells outside of the South Carolina political world. But he’s better known in white nationalist, anti-immigrant and neo-Confederate circles.

Garcia-Quintana is a lifetime member and current board member of the Council of Conservative Citizens (CCC), which is listed as a white nationalist hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. The CCC is the linear descendant of the old White Citizens Councils, which were formed in the 1950s and 1960s to battle school desegregation in the South, and has evolved into a crudely racist organization. Its website, for example, has published pictures comparing pop singer Michael Jackson to an ape and referred to blacks as “a retrograde species of humanity.”

The SPLC adds:

Garcia-Quintana is also a rabid nativist, even though he’s a naturalized citizen who was born in Havana. He’s executive director of the anti-immigrant group Americans Have Had Enough, based in Mauldin, S.C., where he lives. At the 2008 CCC conference held in Sheffield, Ala., Garcia-Quintana referred to Latino immigration as an “illegal alien invasion.” In September 2006, Garcia-Quintana’s nativist organization received proceeds from a barbecue fundraiser featuring former U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado. Tancredo, who was one of the most virulently anti-immigrant members of Congress, was listed as honorary chairman of Americans Have Had Enough and is currently listed on the group’s website as the “Past Honorary Chairman."...

Although Cuban by birth, Garcia-Quintana does not consider himself Latino. His ancestors, he says, were Spaniards and this makes him white. He refers to himself as “Havana born, Savannah raised” and as a “Confederate Cuban.”

Is it possible to sign a search warrant for your own ass, because it would be really nice if you did that, you know? And can you get Roger Ailes to do it? I'm sure he's game.

That is all.

I feel for the gun nuts, I really do.

As I a staunch First Amendment freak, I feel their pain. I know what it's like to believe that the U.S. government has no right to tell you what you can and can't do.

See, I believe that Uncle Sam has no business silencing speech of any kind, no matter how inflammatory or repulsive. Speech is speech, and speech by itself hurts no one. Which is why I understand exactly where gun nutters are coming from when they argue that guns don't hurt people, people hurt people. I get it. I really do. I'm right there with you.

As I've argued before, the problem that a lot of folks have with the Second Amendment is actually a problem they have with the First Amendment except they don't realize it.

See, you can ban guns, but you will never be able to stop people from learning how to make them. The federal government may ban assault rifles, but someone somewhere will be able to tell you how to turn that plain old rifle into a fully automatic one. The cat's out of the bag. Information wants to be free. Knowledge cannot be unlearned.

A few weeks back, the U.S. government pretty much acknowledged that the problem with the Second Amendment was actually a First Amendment problem when they banned a website from distributing directions to make a handgun with a 3D printer.

Now, I know what some of you are saying: If these directions are not banned, then anybody — even convicted felons and young children — will have access to a gun.

While that's theoretically possible — 3D printers are ridiculously expensive — it's an irrelevant point. According to the First Amendment, the U.S. government can never prohibit speech — in this case a set of downloadable directions — or the freedom of the press — in this case the website in question. And as long as no one uses that information to harm someone else or to create a product that they cannot legally own — whether it's a 3D gun or synthetic marijuana — then the federal government has no business denying anyone the right to receive or transmit that information.

Which brings us to a recent report from Harv Jacobs at Live 5 News.

On Wednesday, Live 5 ran a report from Harv on "cartoon child porn." It was one of those stories that's designed to send helicopter parents into a what-about-the-children death spiral. The kind that forces them to make their kids wear bicycle helmets when they're riding their bikes in the driveway. The kind that forces them to drive their children to each and every play date, even if that play date is taking place down the street. The kind that makes them buy chastity belts and home drug tests and homeschool videos from Kurt Cameron. Ugh.

Now, I've got nothing against Harv. He seems like a fine enough fellow, but his cartoon porn report ignores the fact that this is a fundamental free speech issue. In fact, the report fails to mention the First Amendment at all. Granted, Harv comes close to acknowledging that this is a free speech matter, but he buries it in a down-with-activist-judges bait and switch. If he actually took the time to explain the issue, then he would have had to acknowledge that this was not, in fact, child porn.

But enough from me. Watch the video.

Live5News.com | Charleston, SC | News, Weather, Sports

OK. Now that you've seen the report, here's the central problem with Harv's argument: Cartoons aren't people. Cartoons aren't born. They don't enter elementary school. They don't hit puberty. They don't graduate from high school. They don't move back in with their parents after college.

Simply put: An underage cartoon cannot be forced to have sex with an adult because there's no such thing as underage or adult cartoons and cartoons sure as hell can't engage in sex, under duress or otherwise. It's an image. It's an idea. It's a thought. No one is harmed, and nothing happens. This is why the courts have not banned this type of "child porn." But if that ever changes, you can say bye-bye to Nabokov's Lolita, Judy Blume's Forever, and pretty much every single television show on the CW.

Now, if only Harv had taken the time to explain all of this, then I wouldn't have just spent the better part of my day writing a column that only guys who download cartoon "child porn" will applaud. Fuck those guys.

Tiger Woods is the Amanda Bynes of golf.

Scratch that. He's the Lindsay Lohan of the links.

OK. That's not right either. He's the Tom Sizemore of the two wood.

Nah. How about this: Tiger Woods is the Edward Furlong of the fairway.

Much like the TMZ-staple T2 actor, Woods only makes the news when he's at the center of some controversy or a bit of celebrity chatter or a well-timed PR attack that's a mixture of the two.

Take this week's brouhaha for example, in which Spanish golfer Sergio Garcia made a racist remark about Woods, one that was ear-worm similar to Fuzzy Zoeller's white-trash gaffe.

Does it matter that Garcia made a quip about serving Tiger fried chicken? Sure it does. It's a dumbass thing to say, and until the golfing world finally shakes off the shackles of its whites-only club history, this story and any others like it will be news.

But in all honesty, once this controversy has died down, we really shouldn't have to hear about Tiger Woods again, that is unless he is caught getting his putter polished on the 18th hole of Augusta National by a trannie hooker wearing a Dorothy Gale dress.

That won't happen, of course. In the days leading up to the U.S. Open in June, Tiger Woods will dominate nearly all the coverage leading up to the major. From your local newspaper to the Mothership itself, nearly everybody will be asking the exact same question: Will Tiger win?

And they won't stop with the U.S. Open either. The same thing will happen with the British Open in July and the PGA Championship in August. And then in it'll start all over again in 2014 when the Masters rolls around.

In a way, we can forgive them. This is the same question sports journalists have been asking since Woods first turned pro, and it's a question they gotten used to asking ever since he went on a decade-long tear. The only problem is that decade-long tear ended half a decade ago.

The truth is nobody thinks Tiger will win the U.S. Open or the British or the PGA Championship. They may want him to because it'll make great copy, but every sports journalist knows he's a washed up has-been whose time has come and gone — just like Amanda Bynes, Lindsey Lohan, Tom Sizemore, and poor old Edward Furlong.

This morning I was on a tear. It was the kind unhinged rampage that makes puppies whimper and Virgin Mary statues weep.

I'm not sure exactly what set me off.

Had I overcooked the bacon?

Had I stubbed my toe on a pillow?

Had I just come to the realization that when I arrived at work, I would be the only person there who hadn't seen Sunday night's episode of Mad Men and that I would have to shut my door and play selections from the shag metal opera Fiddler on the Roofie just to drown out the spoiler-rific chatter?

Like I said, I'm not sure. But I do know that my daughters weren't bothered. In fact, they didn't seem to mind one bit, which wasn't unusual. It's tough to compete with Mr. Noodle's Brother Mr. Noodle and a Cheerio plucked out of the carpet.

That said, my eldest paid enough attention to my rant to take special note of at least one of the words that exited my mouth. As I locked the door to the house, she said, "Daddy, why did you say 'damn?'"

I responded the only way I could. I told her the truth: Daddy was angry.

Now, that may not be what the folks at the American Family Association recommend, but fuck them.

See, maybe you've heard about this, maybe you haven't, but the AFA is all sex nuts because the FCC is considering lifting a ban on profanity and nudity on public TV during the 6-10 p.m. hours. And so, they've directed their members to contact the FCC and let them know that this act of aggression against all that is decent and boring will not stand. The AFA even has a nice little form letter on their site that you can electronically submit to the FCC.

If you head on over to the FCC's site, you can see each and every complaint that the commission has received so far. Most adhered to the AFA's form letter — yawn — but a few, well, they're just gems.

Here are a few of my favorites:

I am totally against nudity and profanity on any form of viewing media, tv, computer, etc. Our country is getting more immoral by the minute. Please do not allow nudity or profanity or any vulgar storyline to be viewed by ourselves or our children.

My husband and I don't even want to see or hear such things. We have a security code on our channels that don't allow inappropriate shows to be seen in our home so this means we would have to cancel our TV watching all together. I guess that's why I've been buying DVD's for our family to watch and we may have to resort to watching them only

Honestly how could you even address this as an ok issue? I'm lost for words, I am completely disgusted. What a horrible president and leadership Obama truly is, but adding this onto it all is disgraceful!!! There is already enough crap in the world and you are adding to it. It's complete bull shit.

I am writing to a network of people who , hopefully, will begin to listen to what families have to say. Maybe you can begin to learn the words as follows, honor, faith, honesty, goodness, kindness, courtesy, manners, self respect. I hope this won't be too much for your minds to take in. Due to all the trash and insulting shows you continue to air and cram down the throats of good Americans. I already know that this e mail will be deleted and not listened to...

I oppose the passing of 13-86 to allow adult programing by changing current law. In fact, the bleeping of vulgar language is common now and is ineffective.

Morals of this country and what our founding fathers fought for without shoes, in the long winters, with frost bitten feet MUST be protected. PLEASE DO NOT ALLOW SMUT ON TV.

Please do not remove the ban on nudity and on foul language on television programs. I feel the bar is already very low. I don't believe it is good for a society when kids learn via public media that anything goes. Unfortunately, kids are often more influenced by TV than by their very busy parents. I don't fault the parents, but please let's not make the influence of television shows any more negative. Incidentally, why is it necessary for you to discourage people from writing by telling us that our name and address will be publicly available on the web? For that matter, why do you make addresses publicly available?

I'm under the impression the FCC is considering dropping it's ban on the "F" and "S" words as well as allowing full nudity on broadcast radio & tv. I'm writing to state that as a citizen of the U.S., I'm am strongly opposed to the dropping of this ban. In addition, I am strongly offended that the FCC allows the Name of God and Jesus to go unbleeped while other cuss words are blocked.

Allowing the f-word or the s-word or frontal female nudity during prime time TV accomplishes exactly.....what? Who made this decision- a bunch of men?

If nudity and foul language are permitted on TV during daytime hours when children are watching it, the result will be confused children. Children know at school that they get in trouble for cursing or getting nude, but when they see these actions on TV, some will be very puzzled, while others will repeat what they see, even at school.

I remember when I was a child, the closest we gpt to looking at porn wasd the cross your heart bra.

I am not in favor of lifting the nudity and profanity restrictions on non-cable channels. May I say that some are already by-passing the profanity restriction by uttering profanity in Spanish.

I am against ANY form of nudity or showing of anything of a sexual nature.

Give us good programs like we used to watch. We don't need nudity to get us interested, we need good programs. We had sit coms that were clean. Carole Burnett and Mary Tyler Moore made us laugh every Saturday night.
My favorite night to stay home and watch tv was Saturday. I rarely watch broadcast tv programs any longer. My favorite night on broadcst tv is Wednesday on ABC. I watch two family sitcoms that are clean and funny. Give us good documentaries to watch with our children. Teach the children our true history which they are not learning in school. Help our children to learn with good programing that doesn't bore the crap out them. Kids are playing violent video games with lots of blood and guts. We need to show things that are real life programs that will bring families together.
Remember the documentary Roots? That was a wonderful series. So was Shogun. We don't see that type of program any longer.
Surely, there are good authors with books that could be turned into good mini series.