Is your family more Griswolds or the crew in Home for the Holidays?
This year more than any other year, Thanksgiving has attained a certain ominous tone to it — albeit a humorous. Thanks in no small part to the exhausting political climate, there has been many an article devoted to surviving the family during the holiday get together. No longer is it just about whether your cousin Whats-her-butt will scarf the majority of the mac 'n’ cheese before you even get a chance to the bowl or if Uncle Whats-his-nuts will cut one during dinner.
Nowadays Granddad Goofus may quote the latest article about how the libs are wiping their mouths with the Constitution while your cousin Morticia may go on a rant to prove how many Noam Chomsky books she’s read. Your family is unhinged. You’re no prize pig yourself in the Mental Stability Sweepstakes either. It may be sad to compare your familial sanity to fiction but this is where we are now. As messed up as our families may be, we hope we’re closer to the wacky, well-meaning idiocy of the Griswolds than the megalomaniacal semi-incesty pathos of the Skywalkers. From awkward to psychotic, here are some movies can give you a little reminder of how sane your fam may actually be.
Home For The Holidays
So your only daughter has just announced to you she intends to have sex with her boyfriend over the T-day holidays while you, a single mother, have to jet off to Chicago for the usual Larson family dinner. Needless to say, the family is not going to provide for any relief from the tension already brewing within. You got a conservative sis with a banker hubs and two walking boat anchors, a newly-married gay brother that looks, sounds, and acts alot like Robert Downey Jr., and an eccentric aunt who's had a crush on your Dad since the first time she met him. And, like most family get-togethers, you, like Claudia Larson (Holly Hunter), can only sit in resigned silence as the awkward meter breaks down from exhaustion.
The Royal Tenenbaums
What hath Wes Anderson wrought? He is known for bringing lush visuals, forgotten ’60s musical gems, and the family dynamics of rich privilege. While the Larsons have their fair share of middle class discomfiture and clumsiness, the Tenenbaums have bouts of explosive looniness albeit from a far more beautiful place. When the patriarch shacks up in a hotel for over two decades while the three children live with mother in a sweet pad, it’s bound to create a little bit anxiety within the family. As a son in the family, it never helps that you and your two other siblings have seen your most successful days vanish once you left puberty. It also never helps when your dad has long consistent history of being a bullshit artist with a penchant for stealing money from one of his own kids. Family. Who needs ‘em?
The Tenenbaums only wish they were as fucked up as Todd Solondz’s Jordan clan. Disturbing is the best adjective to describe their tale and “Ewwwww” is the sound you’ll make while watching it. Lenny has lost all form of feeling and wants to divorce after 40 years of a not-so-blissful marriage. His wife Mona languishes in the depression of being newly single. The real damage rests in the lives of the daughters Joy, Helen, and Trish. The youngest, Joy, is a quiet bleeding heart single who is slowly turning to stone as her kindness is used against her. Helen is a successful, self-important author fantasizing about a relationship with an obscene phone caller. The oldest, Trish, is, at face value, the married sister with all the knowledge but her fragile, delusional house of cards is undercut when you realize her psychiatrist husband is a pedophile. What a bunch of dark, miserable mofos family can be.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
The Jordans may be walking bags of mental atrophy, they can’t touch the psychotic Sawyer family. Drayton Sawyer may be make some kick-ass Texas chili but that one pro is terribly outweighed by that one cannibalism con of his. His other family members don’t help matters much. There’s the sadistic Chop Top, the son who giddily murders while constantly scratching the metal plate in his head with a coat hanger. There’s Grandpa, the elder who stays alive by sipping on human blood when he’s not trying to hit his latest prey with a mallet. There is the rotting dancing (with Chop Top’s help) corpse of Drayton’s other son, known only as The Hitchhiker. There’s the mummified corpse of Grandma resting on a shrine. Drayton’s most popular family member has always been his human skin wearing, chainsaw wielding son, Leatherface. Needless to say, I’d take Uncle Whats-his-nuts and Granddad Goofus as family members over hyper-violent assholes like these any day.
by Erin Davis
on Tue, Nov 1, 2016 at 4:14 PM
Proceeds from the screening will benefit CIAO's medical mission trips.
Highly-anticipated film Hacksaw Ridge is premiering early at Cinebarre in Mt. Pleasant, but not just for entertainment. This special screening, held on Thurs. Nov. 3 at 6 p.m., will be hosted by the Charleston Institute for Advanced Orthopedics (CIAO) to benefit CIAO’s Walk Nicaragua program, which has partnered with One World Health and Crosslinks Orthopedics. Walk Nicaragua has already provided 60 joint replacement surgeries in the country. CIAO hopes to broaden these horizons and help even more Nicaraguans through medical mission trips.
Hacksaw Ridge, directed by Mel Gibson and officially hitting theaters on Fri. Nov. 4, follows the life of Pfc. Desmond T. Doss (played by Andrew Garfield), who refused to bear arms during WWII due to his Christian ideologies. However, he still won the Medal of Honor by President Harry Truman after saving 75 comrades while under fire in Okinawa. Interestingly, CIAO’s own Dr. Del Schutte is related to Desmond T. Doss.
CIAO will provide hors d'oeuvres and a cash bar before the screening, starting at 6 p.m., with a suggested donation of $125. Any donation amount is appreciated, however.
Pack your things, Southern Charm's new spinoff is moving on down to Savannah
Confirming what we have long known, Charleston-based reality spectacle Southern Charm will be returning for another season. Along with the official renewal announcement today from Bravo came the news that the series will be getting its very own spinoff — Southern Charm Savannah.
Yes, it’s spreading and there is little that can be done about it. But for our readers in the Savannah area, here’s a bit of what you can expect as Southern Charm invades your fair, historic city.
1. People will be very upset that the show is an insult to your city’s rich history and culture. They will make this clear by commenting on the internet. Those comments will be collected, cataloged, and stored in the local Hall of Records to tell future generations about the time that a courageous group of citizens banded together to protect a city beset by cable TV carpetbaggers.
2. Many of your local residents will watch the show simply because it is set in the city that they call home. This will seem novel to begin with, but soon constantly repeating establishing shots of old courthouses and carriage horses will invade your dreams. There will come a time when you can no longer discern whether you are asleep or on an endless walking tour of downtown. You will awake screaming, drenched in sweat, and next to you on the night stand will be a crumpled brochure for a ghost tour.
3. All your local media outlets will wade into the murky, infectious waters of episode recaps. Fighting to keep their heads above water in a bottomless sea of content, some will flounder, others will flourish. But none will make it back to solid ground unscathed.
by Erin Davis
on Wed, Oct 26, 2016 at 10:09 AM
American Pickers, a History Channel series that chronicles the over-crowded and rusted garages of hundreds of Americans, is headed to our neck of the woods. This December, hosts Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz plan to travel to South Carolina, fully prepared to find some of history’s greatest treasures in the Lowcountry. If you or anyone you know has accumulated lots of antiques, unique objects or collectables, Mike and Frank want to know.
If you’re looking at your collection and thinking, “This would take all day to go through," you may be the perfect candidate. Feel free to send your name, phone number, location, and description of your unique selection (with photos) to: firstname.lastname@example.org or call 855-old-rust.
online and at the door at $8 per film and all screenings will be at the Sottile Theatre at 44 George St.
The Nuovo Cinema Italiano fest is no small affair. For the 10th year in a row, the fest is screening Italy’s newest and most artistic films, bringing a taste of the country's rich culture to the Charleston Lowcountry. Founded by Giovanna de Luca, associate professor of Italian at the College of Charleston, the festival will host screenings of 12 different films, the first of which is entitled Loro chi? or Them Who?
Piero Messina, director of L’attesa, which will be shown on Oct. 23 at 4:30 p.m., will speak at the festival, along with actor Rimau Grillo Ritzberger, star of the film Un Bacio, screening Oct. 22 at 5 p.m. Attendees will have the chance to hear these Italian artists speak about their work and the importance of Italian film on a global scale.
The festival will close with Gabriele Mainetti’s Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot, for which he won a total of 13 awards, including “Best New Director” at the David di Donatello Awards.