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Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Southern Charm Recap #3-#5: the facts of life

Men are dogs

Posted by Stephanie Barna on Tue, Apr 1, 2014 at 5:42 PM

Apologies for not being here to recap the last few weeks of Southern Charm, that Bravo TV show we love to hate, starring our very own bad boy Thomas Ravenel, but I slipped into a stupor of boredom and couldn't even find the energy to make fun of it anymore. It felt a little too much like taking yet another dump in that Trainspotting toilet, if you know what I mean. There's only so much piling on one can do and still feel good about life. Of course, watching last night's episode roused me out of my stupor and I'm ready to get back on the hate-go-round.

So let's speedily bring everyone up to date and get into the facts of life as set out by the boys and girls of Southern Charm

Episode #3 Highlights: 
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Thomas' biological clock continues to tick so loudly we can hear it all the way from Church Street to the top of the Ravenel Bridge. He and JD discuss ovulating and how to go about getting a girl pregnant. The leitmotif emerges. 

T-Rav and Shep are related, both descendants of the Boykin clan — which just proves that the Boykins are a bunch of dogs. 

Does Jenna have a sugar daddy? Whitney mentions an old rich boyfriend while his assistant challenges Jenna to tell her how she pays for her South of Broad mansion. Our first hint that she has what's been dubbed a "crystal meth vagina"  — don't worry, we'll get to that later. 

Jenna throws a party and half of gay Charleston shows up. T-Rav is "in the cups" (ie. shitfaced) and finds his dreams coming true when Kathryn arrives (with — here's some foreshadowing — Whitney) and tells him she's two weeks late and might be pregnant because they had unprotected sex. But she also boinked Shep, so there's that.    

Episode #4 Lowlights:

Thomas takes Kathryn, that poised young Southern gal, to the drug store in a cab to get a pregnancy test, which they then take while shitfaced. It proves inconclusive. What? It didn't come up saying: Warning, warning, fetal alcohol syndrome?

There is more talk in this episode about women's periods than in all 15 seasons of the Facts of Life. Shep is consulted for advice and T-Rav admits his regrets: "I shouldna had sex wid 'er." Lots more basic reproductive lessons are laid out in the rest of the episode, like, don't be a fool, wrap your tool. 

Having a kid would be a big deal to both Kathryn and T-Rav, who are otherwise known as Capt. Obvious and No Shit Sherlock. 

I hope Shep is taking notes on his behavior with women. He's got to stop being so silly about everything. Imagine if he was as dedicated to being smart and ambitious as he is to being goofy and horny. I think I might have said the same thing to my 15-year-old son yesterday. 

Jenna's friend Jessica drops the bomb while getting their nails done: "We all know you have a crystal meth vagina. It's like one little taste and then you have grown men crying on your voicemail." The rest of the show fails to live up to this little bon mot. 

Nothing draws a couple closer than a pregnancy scare. TomKat are now a thing. 


Episode #5 — Mommy & Daddy Issues:

A haggard looking Thomas cooks breakfast with his perky girlfriend and gives her fatherly advice like, the greatest of all virtues is courage. Creepy.

Cameran breaks her own rule about discussing money in the South and tells Whitney that she knows he's loaded and he should buy a house from her because she needs cash. Classy.

Whitney loves his mom, but he's like Norman Bates, so pretty soon he's going to kill Patricia and then assume her identity and become his own worst critic. Charleston ladies, you've been warned. 
 
In Shep's world, five dates is a long-term relationship. In MJ's world, it's just, like, five dates, so relax dude. Looks like the bubble of awesome that Shep lives in is deflating fast. Poor guy. 

Whitney, thrilled to have his mom's laser of ego destruction pointed at another man's genitals, giggles as Patricia, over cocktails at Husk, eviscerates T-Rav for dating such a young person. Thomas defends her by saying Kathryn has poise — again. He's got to get a new adjective for this girl.

Oh, and Patricia says she encountered Kathryn at her house one morning at 9 a.m. Hmmm.

Gingers are fiery, says T-Rav, and he really likes Kathryn's spunk.

Then Kathryn drops a little bomb: Whitney tried to give her a makeover at his place, in his bedroom. T-Rav asks the girl who slept with Shep whether she kissed Whitney: "Did you French kiss him?" Ick, who says that besides Natalie and Tootie when Blair comes home from a date? (See Facts of Life reference if you were not alive in the 80s).

We get to see everyone getting dressed for JD's Carolina Day party — very stimulating stuff, particularly the count's cufflinks — but we only get to see Craig show up in the wrong kind of clothes. Instead of wearing a waiter's outfit like the other dudes (ie. white tuxes), he's in a sharp business suit looking like he just dropped out of GQ. And then Whitney ridicules him for not knowing proper etiquette. Puhleeze. 

Whitney, who in an earlier episode asked Jenna if she pays attention to the balls when pleasuring a man, blatantly asks to see her tits as they stand outside a restaurant on King Street. Now we're talking, but why are we only getting the fun stuff during the 30-second breaks? 

Ugh — bagpipes and history lessons. Housewives never do this. Bring me the Housewives of Charleston, please. Or bring me a show about Jenna and Cameran fingering each other under the table. Yeah, Jenna just said that. 

Thomas is now drunk, ready to give advice to Shep, and beat Whitney up. Finally. Let's get to it. The ladies, being Southern and charming, immediately leave the table as things get heated and T-Rav accuses Whitney of trying to sleep with Kathryn.

Here's a nice example of Kathryn's poise: Now she's saying that Whitney invited her over at 12:30 a.m. to talk about politics. Hmm. What happened to that makeover?

T-Rav takes it outside with Whitney and they don't duel, so it's hard to make what happens really all that interesting. After some drunken words they go back inside and dance the Charleston, cause that's what we always do in this town. 

Meanwhile in the real world, T-Rav pled guilty to a DUI last week and got his license suspended. He posted a late-night blast on Facebook, outing a prominent Charlestonian as being a fellow coke fiend (the post was quickly deleted but not before I was texted a screen-shot of said post). And word from an inside source is that he and Kathryn celebrated the birth of their baby last week. 

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Thursday, March 27, 2014

Moving Picture Boys' The Ballad of Shovels and Rope Previewed

Rockumentary

Posted by Kinsey Gidick on Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 2:29 PM

Kickstarter supporters and a few cast members were treated to a preview of rock documentary The Ballad of Shovels and Rope at American Theatre last Sat. March 22. The project, developed by Moving Pictures Boys (director Jace Freeman and producers Sean Clark and Paul Bannister), was three years in the making and follows hometown heroes Cary Ann Hearst and husband Michael Trent as they go from show to show, living in their van, to crafting the hit O’ Be Joyful album and becoming Americana Music Association “Emerging Artist of the Year.”

The cheerful storyline will likely please fans as the narrative juxtaposes the band's hits against the couple’s teasing commentary and unrehearsed slapstick — for instance, a scene where Hearst visits a coin laundromat on Johns Island  and the washing machine bursts spilling water across the room. In the next take we see Hearst smiling and mopping up the mess herself, a glimpse of their real rock 'n' roll life. For those looking to see The Ballad of Shovels and Rope in wide release, Bannister says the movie will be making the film festival circuit for the next six months in hopes of securing distribution. 


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Indie Film Fest seeking entries

Southern Exposure

Posted by Rebecca Stanley on Thu, Mar 27, 2014 at 2:24 PM

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In today’s frenzy of social media and television, it’s easy for people and their products to be overexposed. Unfortunately, a lot of overexposure goes towards people like the Kardashians, Justin Bieber, Lindsey Lohan, and other no-talent entertainers. The Underexposed Film Festival in York County is trying to change that.

Open to entries from the public, The Underexposed Film Fest is set up to showcase independent filmmakers. Cash prizes can be won for narrative, animation, experimental, documentary, student, and female directed films. Karen Collins, the festival’s organizer, has served as an assistant director for the movies Gettysburg, The Thin Red Line, and Glory. She believes that the short film is often the purest form of filmmaking. Apparently, others agree as Underexposed has grown to a three day event for its third year.

Entries should be 45 minutes or less, and will be shown November 13-15 in the Community Performance Center in Rock Hill. If films are submitted by April 18, there is a $25 fee. Three later entry deadlines, May 16, June 20, and July 18 are scheduled, but the cost per entry goes up the later the submission is received. Entries submitted through the festival’s official website, withoutabox.com, receive a $5 discount, and student entries receive an additional $5 off. Prize categories include Exposed (Best of Show/First Place), In the Limelight (Second Place), Out of the Shadows (Third Place), and Terry Roueche Audience Choice, the Woman to Watch (best female director), and Best Student Film. The six winners will receive $1,950 in prizes.

More information can be found here.

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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

One Couch at a Time is coming to a theater near you

Couch Potatoes

Posted by Rebecca Stanley on Tue, Mar 25, 2014 at 5:06 PM

With Airbnb becoming so popular recently, it's easy to forget its predecessor Couch Surfing — where you stay on people's couches for a small fee — sometimes even for free. While it sounds sketchy and like the premise of a horror movie, it's not. And four strangers recently documented their experiences couch surfing the world in the new documentary, One Couch at a Time.

One Couch at a Time follows Alexandra Liss and three new friends across six continents and 21 countries. Each night, they stay with someone they met through couchsurfing.org until they reach their ultimate destination: Burning Man Festival. In the trailer, Liss explains that she wants to investigate sharing, and how far people will go for one another. Despite opposition from her family and friends, she sets off on her journey with a budget of $30K.

Jean-Michel Werk, the producer, points out how the documentary highlights the emerging ‘sharing’ economy, or basically that if you share something of yours it will be returned in someway in the future. In Couch Surfing speak, it's allowing someone free room and board with the expectation that you too could spend the night for free. And it's not a new idea, just one we’ve forgotten. Still, it doesn’t seem plausible that people would give up currency completely, so Liss and crew took to social media to find these places. 

One Couch at a Time screens at the Terrace Theatre on Sun. March 30 at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $9 and can be purchased here

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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Family Feud Hosts Charleston Auditions

Survey Says

Posted by Rachel Lechler on Wed, Mar 19, 2014 at 4:13 PM

We don’t know about you, but we love corny family-based gameshows as much as the next person. That's probably because we sometimes find joy in watching others embarrass themselves on national television. And with the Family Feud, that embarrassment is bound to happen at least once a show if not more. Putting people on the spot and asking them word association games is dangerous. Sexual innuendos come flying out of people's mouths — OK, not even innuendos. And then sometimes they just freeze, like answering orange when you're asked to name a fruit that is yellow.

But don't let these examples scare you and your fam away from auditing for the 16th season of the show.  On March 29 and 30, the gameshow will host tryouts right here in the Holy City. If you want your blood ties to appear on the show, email charleston@familytryouts.com to reserve an audition spot. Can't make it to the audition? The Feud is taking video entries, as well. Just shoot them an email and send a three to five minute DVD or a link to a YouTube video with an introduction of your clan — and be sure to get goofy and creative with it (hint, hint play a mock version of the show). Remember they’re looking for a family that will stand out. If your family is chosen, you could have a chance to win up to $100,000 and a new car.

Here's the nitty gritty: they’re looking for families with at least five members related by blood, marriage, or legal adoption. So wrangle up the family, get Grandma in the car, or do it Chevy Chase-style and strap her to the hood, and get thee to the auditions. Or just send them your info through electronic mail. For more information, visit here

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