Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Random Thoughts

Posted by David Lee Nelson on Wed, Nov 12, 2008 at 10:38 AM

I think it's pretty ironic that the only place I've ever read Reader's Digest is on the toilet.  "Do you need to shit?  Do you like to read?  Than do we have some pointless stories for you."

I was eating at a Hardee's in a small town near the Maryland, Virginia border.  This older African American couple stared at me the entire time I was in there.  As they were leaving they walked by my table and said, "Excuse me, but are you from Europe?"  I was taken aback by their question.  "No, I'm not.  I'm from South Carolina originally."  And my answer made them a little sad.  "Oh, we could have sworn you were from Europe."  Then I got a little sad for them.  How boring are these people's lives?  How sheltered an exsistence must they be living if they were excited about some skinny white guy they saw at Hardee's and the prospect that he might be from another contitnent.

When we first moved to our neighborhood five years ago, we walked past our next door neighbor and she introduced herself:

"My name Millie," she said in a thick Brooklyn accent.

"Hi, I'm David, this is my wife Mandy," I replied, putting my keys in my apartment door.

"And this here is my son Blaise.  He's retarded."

I was so unprepared for her blunt introduction of her son that I laughed.  And she said, "No for real, he's retarded."

I stood there kind of frozen and the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "Oh, that's great."

And she continued on.  "His name is Blaise.  He's named after his father."

"Oh, is he retarded too?"

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

"Don't Forget To Vote" Text Messages

Posted by David Lee Nelson on Tue, Nov 4, 2008 at 10:32 AM

Someone sent me a text yesterday afternoon. "Don't forget to vote" - the message read. As I looked at the message I filled with rage. I imagined this person sending the message and getting filled up with all these positive feelings. "Everyone's now going to know what a politically minded person I am- look at me, taking part in Democracy! Guys, seriously, it's so important to like, um, vote... yeah- democracy."

This guy is a dick-wad. His little text message did nothing. Who in their right mind would forget to vote tomorrow? It's not like the election has been going on for two years or anything. It's not as if someone is going to be walking around town-"there was something I was supposed to do today... what is it? Dentist? No. Yoga class? No. Oh wait, I'm getting a text- Don't forget to vote tomorrow- that's it- voting. Duh."

If you forget to vote, in an election as in your face as this one has been-good. If you're that blind and oblivious to the world in which you live, you shouldn't have a role in electing our leaders. And if you think that by sending out a little text message to all your little friends, you are somehow doing your part-you shouldn't be allowed to vote either.

So vote if you were going to. Or don't. But if you forget what day today is...don't worry, you vote tomorrow.

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