Monday, January 13, 2014

Park Circle's Mixson Avenue should be renamed Impassable Alley

Block blocked

Posted by Chris Haire on Mon, Jan 13, 2014 at 11:59 AM

At some point it was bound to happen. A vehicle driving down the newly reimagined Mixson Avenue in Park Circle had to pull around the median which runs down the middle of the cramped street and into on-coming traffic, all because some jackass can't parallel park. In this case, the jackass was a truck hauling a trailer, and the wrong-way driver was a large truck, the kind carrying a large dumpster. 

Mixson Avenue wasn't always like this. Just a few months ago, it was a wide open four-lane street that connected Durant Avenue/Meeting Street Road and East Montague Avenue. But then Mixson's new owners decided to abandon the previous owners' new urban dreams, a project that had only yielded a tiny cluster of homes that had sprung up from the empty like warts. Instead Mixson would now be the home to a swim club, a deli, a restaurant, and several large apartment buildings, a.k.a. The Flats. 

And then, for some strange reason, that four-lane road became a three-lane road, and once the median was constructed and on-street parking spaces were sketched out on both sides of the street, it became a two-lane road, but that's being generous. The truth is Mixson Avenue is as tight and uncomfortable as a colonoscopy.

As it stands now, a trash truck can barely drive down the street when cars are parked right next to the curb. If someone ever parks just over the outside edge of the space, there is no way in hell that any large vehicle — be it a Cadillac Escalade, a dump truck, a semi, a fire engine, or an ambulance  — will be able to make it down Mixson without driving into the other lane — and that's only if some asshole hasn't left his car sticking out in the road on the other side of the street. And that's if the median's palmettos and concrete aren't blocking his path.

Seriously, who in the holy hell designed this shit? And what city hack approved it? I'm not sure who the guilty party is here, but they should be fired by Donald Trump's combover into a barrel of man-eating piranha and syphilitic, sycophantic star fuckers. They don't know dick about designing a fucking road and their failures are going to cause an endless series of headaches for Park Circle residents.

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