Friday, February 24, 2012

You can take your new name for NoMo and stick it UP your @$$

So-called 'creative corridor' gets new, nauseating name

Posted by Chris Haire on Fri, Feb 24, 2012 at 12:33 PM

UP!

Are you kidding me? After all of those meetings of the minds, that was the best that the City of Charleston and their enablers could come up with?

For the love of Crom, who in the hell actually believes that UP is a better name for the so-called Morrison Drive creative corridor than NoMo, the very thing that most people already call the area?

UP is what you call a class on dog training.

UP is something you say when you fuck up, like oops or d'oh.

UP is text-land shorthand for whassup.

UP is what you name a support group for men with erectile dysfunction.

I don't know about you, but this bit of PR-approved swill makes me want to throw UP.

Here's the deal, folks. NoMo works. Why? Because all of the businesses that currently make up the "creative corridor" are actually on Morrison Drive.

The only component of the creative corridor that isn't — 1600 Meeting St. — doesn't even exist yet. Hell, this proposed arts hub may not even happen, at least in the ways that the planners envision it.

But the businesses and shops on NoMo — the City Paper, Tattooed Moose, Santi's, Martha Lou's, GrowFood Carolina, DwellSmart, the Royal American, Cone 10, Charleston Home and Design, and Savage Ultimate — they are here today and they didn't need a group-think branding effort to do it. The transformation of the once-neglected Morrison Drive wasn't the result of committee meetings and group planning sessions and Power Point presentations. It was the result of real people sinking their money into a project and working hard to make their dreams a reality.

God I hate committees. Seriously, I can't tell you the number of times that a gaggle of milquetoast toadies and bland dandies have come together to craft a brand and have only embarrassed themselves.

I remember the Charlotte Spirit, the original name for the Charlotte Hornets. The much-maligned name was quickly changed.

I remember the Greenville Grrrowl, the one-time name of the Green Vegas' semi-pro hockey team.

I remember Whatisit, aka Izzy, the big-eyed sperm-looking mascot of the 1996 Atlanta Olympics that was universally condemned.

And don't even get me started on the Upper King Street Design District, which becomes less of a design district everyday ... that is if it ever was.

See, you can't designate something a design district or a creative corridor. Those things happen. And in the case of NoMo, well, if you just look at it, you'll see that it's not really a creative corridor after all. It's still pretty industrial and, in some parts, slummy. Most importantly, it's noticeably lacking in "creative" businesses.

I don't know about you but I think these people must be stopped. We must make a stand.

And that stand begins with NoMo. You can take UP and stick it up your ass.

UPDATE on UP:

I've been looking over the e-mail chain regarding the creation of a brand name for the Morrison Drive creative corridor, and it appears that the City of Charleston's Planning, Preservation & Sustainability office came up with the name. Sometime after that, it appears the decision was made to call the area UP, by who and when we have yet to determine. We hoping to have an answer about that soon.

And it also appears that the official name of the creative corridor, UP, was chosen before the first community meeting had even occurred. That meeting will apparently happen on Tues. March 6 at 5:30 pm at PS Studios. Not that it matters. The PR flackies and city planning hackies have apparently settled the matter. Assholes.

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Not that NoMo is the best for a nickname but UP is really f'd up.

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Posted by nofaith on February 24, 2012 at 1:05 PM

Charleston is becoming more lame than California.

Just call it Morrison Drive. ...or how about Moron Drive. Nomo could be thought to imply "no morons" and could therefore be quite a misnomer.

Charleston, you try to hard. Put up all the proper street signs first. Come up with the pet names for your pets. Give it a rest. Make some art before you go talking about it.

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Posted by EViL_STeVeN on February 24, 2012 at 2:02 PM

There once was a downtown punk named John. One day John just up and gave himself a nickname. He wanted everyone to call him Torch. Giving yourself a nickname is kinda lame. To me, he was always John. After the nickname gimmick, he also became lame john.
After living here for over 40 years, I've always thought of the area from Martha Lou's up past Magnolia to Pittsbugh as The Neck. Now that might not fit for the whole area. It might not be pretty. but it is what it is.
I wish them good luck in just spontaneously coming up with a nickname. To me, it will always be The Neck.

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Posted by artrogue on February 24, 2012 at 6:27 PM

I call my part of the couch "Matland".

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Posted by mat catastrophe on February 25, 2012 at 8:08 AM

The Neck > NoMo

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Posted by Jaxx on February 25, 2012 at 5:36 PM

I think they should call it Awesomeland or Coolville. Or maybe just Awe or Cool. Or Ville. Or what about Hashtagenberg?

Please tell me none of my taxes are going into this process.

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Posted by Phil Blevins on February 25, 2012 at 10:31 PM

I would like to point out that "UP" can also be pronounced as "U PEE", changing its subtext from that of Directional to a Biological nature.

By the way, your article was pretty funny, especially the phrase "milquetoast toadies and bland dandies".

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Posted by Fartness on February 26, 2012 at 7:37 AM

Beavis and Butthead would be proud.

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Posted by artrogue on February 27, 2012 at 6:56 PM

"North Cent"

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Posted by cgi-bin laden on February 28, 2012 at 2:10 PM
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