Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Gisele doesn't know her place, and Tom Brady is too whipped to keep her in line

And damn, did you see his ridiculous haircut?

Posted by Chris Haire on Wed, Feb 8, 2012 at 1:56 PM

Many years from now, long after Halftime in America has come to an end, in the final two minutes of our great nation's history, no one will remember Tom Brady.

And no one will give two shits about Terrell Owens.

Or Deion Sanders.

Or Jerry Rice

Or Terry Bradshaw.

Or Bart Fucking Starr.

No one will think twice about any of today's current and past NFL greats.

Except for one and one alone: O.J. Simpson.

The simple truth is this: Pro football is a nice momentary diversion, but it has little if any impact on society as anything other than passing entertainment once you get beyond the Super Bowl and a post-game riot here or there.

But O.J., he will be remembered. His moment in time will be preserved because of the role that it plays in the central and all-defining American story: How did a nation devoted to freedom deny freedom to a substantial portion of its population and what efforts did it make to address this hypocrisy?

As you recall, O.J.'s acquittal was nearly universally celebrated by the African American community and condemned by the white community. For the black community, the verdict was payback for all of the black men who had been wrongly convicted by white juries. For the white community, it was a reminder that the sins of the past had not been forgiven, contrary to what had previously been reported.

Of course, that shouldn't keep us from indulging in pointless chit chat about the world of pro football and perfectly inconsequential matters like the silly little shitstorm that was kicked off when supermodel Gisele Bundchen defended her husband Tom Brady following Sunday's deserved defeat of the Patriots by the New York Giants. For those who need reminding, here's what Gisele said:

“My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

In response, the vast majority of sports fans and sports writers have condemned Gisele. Some say she broke some mythical football "code." Others think she's just an uppity rich bitch trophy wife. But the meaning of what both types are saying is the same: Gisele doesn't know her place, and Tom's too pussy-whipped to keep his bitch in line, so we've got to do it. I mean, damn, did you see his ridiculous fucking haircut?

And perhaps nobody has articulated this point better than Giants running back Brandon Jacobs who told Fox Sports, "She just needs to continue to be cute and shut up."

Well, Brandon, I hate to break it to you, bud, but you're just a football player, so why don't you get back to playing a kids' game and shut the fuck up.

And to all of you sports writers and pundits who are bashing Gisele, have fun gossiping at the beauty parlor and talking about your stories. Oh and here's 30 bucks. Go buy yourself something nice. Daddy's feeling frisky.

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